• Long term change always occurs in small steps and requires persistence.
• The reason is that our behaviors today are programmed by our entire past life experiences.
• Most of your reactions are automatic, in your subconscious brain, and beyond rational control.
• However, you can reprogram your unconscious by repetition and creating more functional and enjoyable responses.
• Just start.

Many, if most of us, live our lives by endlessly dealing with challenges and then enjoying ourselves when we can. We often don’t have the time or energy to make decisions and choices to experience what we wanted when we graduated from high school. What happened to those dreams?

So, we spend a lot of time reacting to our circumstances instead of creating the life that we want. The problem is that any time you are anxious or frustrated, you are reacting to some unpleasant event from the past that was kicked up by the present. That is how every living creature survives.

We learn what is safe versus threatening and attempt to live our lives in a range that is neutral or safe. It is also well known that avoiding danger is a stronger driving force for behaviors than seeking safety. In addition to avoiding physical danger, humans strive to avoid mental threats, which have the same impact on your nervous system and body. Research has shown that the physiological responses are the same.¹ But since we cannot escape from our thoughts, all of us have some level of a constantly activated nervous system that wears us down. We have discussed many ways de-energize this process.

Then the other part of healing is moving into the part of your brain that experiences pleasure and is safe. It is a process and an acquired skill. Like becoming a virtuoso violinist, it requires repetition to make it a habit. It is again the only way to affect your subconscious brain.

ReaCtive to Creative

If you take the letter “C” out of the middle of the word, “reactive”, you have the word, “creative.” If you can create some space between your stress and reaction, you can substitute a more rational response and with repetition, your brain physically changes (neuroplasticity). A foundational step is the expressive writing, which creates space

Creating structure to organize your life lowers your stresses. You see them more clearly and make better proactive decisions. It also creates some “space” and perspective. If you can’t see all the aspects of a problem, it is harder to solve. Then you can create small behavioral changes that become habitual.

While an important aspect of this journey out of pain is to learn and adopt an organizational system, at the same time it seems overwhelming. So, the first step is to “do something” – anything. You may not have the energy to figure out what you really want at this point. But just get started.

Begin–anywhere

Start small – very small. I presented a template of a personal “business plan” earlier in this leg of the journey. You may have felt that you don’t have the bandwidth to do this or you just can’t do it. Don’t worry about it. Just do something (anything) to start the process. Here are some suggestions and whatever works for you is the key.

• Take piece of paper every morning and write down one optional goal of something you want to accomplish. Just one. It may as simple as staying out of bed for 15 minutes longer than normal.
• Then write down five things you might do to create more order in your life.
• It might resemble your normal to-do list, but it is a more thoughtful set of actions.
• One of the “to do” items could be creating some time for your self-care.
• What routine might you create to center yourself and connect with the day – with or without your pain?

Evolution of the process

 The personal business plan will evolve at some point. As you begin to change your behaviors and heal, your energy will increase.

• Sit down and do a “brain dump.”
• Don’t try to organize it.
• Over time you can begin to “sculpt” and refine it.
• Take time out of the equation. It will only create anxiety–and more pain.
• Try to avoid in making massive changes. You will only become frustrated when you can’t achieve lasting change.

Be kind to yourself

 You will “fail” many times in this process except it is not failure. It’s life. If you look at the Dynamic Healing model, we know that on some days, your stresses are overwhelming, or your nervous system is on high alert from lack of sleep. You will quickly go into flight or fight physiology and not feel great. Your pain usually increases. It is easy to be self-critical in that you were not able to accomplish what you “should” be doing. “Should” thinking is one of David Burn’s ten cognitive distortions² that drains your energy. Simply recognizing the distortion will allow you to let it go and move on.

Whatever you do, get back to the place where you can separate from your self-critical voice (can’t control it), and treat yourself with the respect and compassion that you deserve.

Recap

Since your body’s first responsibility is to keep you alive by being alert for danger, it is the powerful default program of your brain. I refer to this process as having a “personal brain scanner.”

You cannot go from reactive to creative without utilizing repetition to change the subconscious brain. Just having a vague idea of what you want to create is the starting point. Your brain will continue to develop and evolve wherever you place your attention, similar to learning any new skill. The skill you want to acquire is how to live an enjoyable life and it doesn’t happen by continually trying to fix your prior one. Consistently considering what you really want out of life and steadily working towards it  is one of the most critical aspects of breaking loose from the grip of chronic pain. But be nice to yourself when you “fail.”

Questions and considerations

1. Do you ever wonder why it is so difficult to live up to your best intentions? It’s because there is a gross mismatch between your rational brain and powerful subconscious one.
2. Your subconscious brain is the product of a lifetime of programming. Most of us were not provided methods of how to program our nervous system in the direction we desire.
3. Remember that your hopes and dreams are a rational construct that cannot be manifested without embedding implementation tools into your subconscious brain.
4. It is also the reason we can rarely keep New Year’s resolutions. We are mentally taking on a lot without a process to bring them alive.
5. People will sometimes make dramatic and lasting changes in response to a major crisis. You don’t need to wait for that to happen in order to move forward.
6. Take control of your life now with persistent small steps and let your brain evolve in the direction you choose.

References

1. Eisenberger NI, et al. An experimental study of shared sensitivity to physical pain and social rejection. Pain (2006); 126:132-138. doi: 10.1016/j.pain.2006.06.024
2. Burns David. Feeling Good. Harper Collins. New York, NY, 1999.

The post Your Life’s Roadmap – Just Begin Anywhere first appeared on Back in Control.

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• Chronic mental and physical pain is a complex problem that requires a systematic approach to solve.
• How can you address the issues relevant to you without and organized approach?
• Reprogramming your brain requires repetition but not in a random manner.
• It is much more efficient to solve chronic pain with an organized approach.
• Being organized is a learned skill set, not an inherent personal trait.

I had always thought that being organized was an inherent skill that people either did or did not possess. It was clear to me that I was not an organized person. During my college and medical training, it was such a challenge to keep on top of my “to do” list, that I did not need much more structure.

When I began my practice, the structure of rigorous training disappeared, and I realized I needed to learn organizational skills to deliver high-quality medical care. I started with a book, The Organized Executive,¹ and I learned that getting organized is an easily mastered skill.

I read additional books and took classes to deepen these skills.  There are many ways to add depth to it. As you learn tools to solve your pain, it is critical to implement them daily and also to continue to learn. It is hard to step back into the life you want to create without an organizational system. I would suggest the following steps.

• Pick an organizational system you feel you would like to learn. Take the time to learn it. Learn and practice the skills required to take advantage of it. Here are a few suggestions:
  • David Allen’s seminars and book, Getting Things Done (GTD)²
  • The Organized Executive¹ by Stephanie Winston
  • Franklin Coveyorganizational systems³
  • There are many others
• Decide whether you want to implement it on paper or use a computerized system.
• Use it and don’t let yourself off the hook.

Stimulating meaningful neuroplastic changes in your brain requires repetition. But it requires specific focused ones. It has been demonstrated that random repetitions that approximate what you are trying to learn is actually counterproductive.⁴ Getting organized, in addition to allowing you to implement effective interventions, allows you to control your schedule (life), which will also lower your anxiety (which is the pain).

Other options and considerations

Maybe the idea getting super organized doesn’t resonate with you. There are many successful people who have made it easier for themselves. An option is to carry a blank notebook and take notes as you go. It has ideas, issues, to do items, etc. The bottom line is that you can quickly scan it and keep track of what is going on.

A day planner is also an option. There are many formats, and you can plan as big or small as you would like to.

I happen to gravitate towards David Allen’s approach where he suggests over two to three full days, take every item in your personal and professional life, and get it into one place. If the “to do” item takes less than two minutes to complete, simply get it done immediately. Then he has many suggestions of how to arrange them. A core concept is that each and every project boils down to, “the one next step.” It allows you to simultaneously engage in multiple different arenas. Many times, excellent projects never get started because they seem so big.

One common theme is writing down your vision in general terms. There are categories of being doable and getting them started and others are just dreams. Write them all down regularly. All projects begin with a dream. One of my most impressive mentors challenged me that once you have written them down, the next question is, “am I thinking big enough?”

For example, with regards to your pain, don’t just try to get better. Do it. Pursue learning the tools to heal and practice them – with a vengeance. How long do you want to continue to suffer? What else is more important to your quality of life than your health. You have heard me repeatedly say that “you can’t fix yourself.” That is still true. However, you can gain many skills to better process adversity, spend less time in a defensive survival state, and allow your body to heal.

There is the issue of being computer based versus using paper. That is a matter of preference Many people, including me, have not seen a big advantage of being computer based (but I am old….).

Recap

My friend and forward-thinking cell biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, has succinctly pointed out the huge mismatch between the unconscious brain and conscious brain. The unconscious brain is hundreds of thousands more powerful than the conscious brain. Over 95% of our actions are hard-wired and automatic and beyond our conscious control. We don’t have direct access to them, so what can you do? You can use your conscious brain to reprogram them from automatic survival reactions to more pleasant ones. That requires ongoing repetition. It also has to be focused.

Getting organized is critical because there are so many aspects to both your life and pain, and they all need to be addressed. Although you can improve without being organized, you can move forward more quickly with a plan. It also decreases your stress, which is anti-inflammatory, and decreases your pain – mental and physical.

If you step back and look at the big picture, consider that we have a choice of running our lives in an endless crisis management mode or methodically taking charge. Getting organized is not difficult and is the better alternative. Commit to getting better and learning an organizational system will help you honor your commitment to you.

Questions and considerations

1. It may be different now, but I was not taught any organizational skills at any point in my schooling or medical training. Were you?
2. I watched people that were organized accomplish a lot of excellent things, but I assumed that this was an inherent trait. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
3. Organizational skills are a learned skill set with many ways to attain it. Whatever one you connect with is going to help.
4. You don’t have to become incredibly organized to experience major benefits.
5. Being organized will give you control over your life and decisions. We know that a sense of control is anti-inflammatory.⁵
6. Chronic pain is a complex problem, and similar to fighting a forest fire, every aspect of it must be addressed. Being organized greatly increases your odds of success.

References

1. Winston, Stephanie. The Organized Executive. Norton and Co. New York, NY, 1994.
2. Allen, David. Getting Things Done. Putnam Books. New York, NY, 2015.
3. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Anniversary edition. 2020.
4. Coyle, Daniel. The Talent Code. Random House, New York, NY, 2009.
5. Dantzer R, et al. Resilience and Immunity. Brain Behav Immun (2018); 74:28-42.

The post Get Organized – Chronic Pain is Complex first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Get Organized – Chronic Pain is Complex appeared first on Back in Control.

• Most of us have become so used to solving problems and just making ends meet that we have lost sight of what we really want out of life.
• It is impossible to move forward without some idea of where you want to go.
• View you and your life as a “business” and what do you want to achieve in your life, regardless of the pain.
• By executing any part of your plan, you are moving away from your pain and into a more enjoyable life.

It is the norm for most of us to run our lives by continually fixing problems. We not only get worn down, but we don’t have the pleasure of achieving our dreams. A friend of mine uses the term “surviving and fixing” to describe this approach to living life. He challenges himself and his audiences to develop a “vision of excellence” regarding their own lives. Create the vision of where you want to be and then break it down into doable steps.

Your business plan

Here is a suggested template that to develop a “business plan” for your life. Visualize yourself as a small business trying to accomplish specific goals. Instead of having a nagging sense of not doing what you really want, clearly define the variables. You could also use a more complex small business template and be more specific.

Self-Inventory Template

Overview of self today:

Core Values

• Self
• Family
• Friends
• Career
• Finances
• What brings me joy?
• Giving back

Character – be honest with yourself on both accounts. None of us are perfect, and I have long said that if all of us have “flaws”, why do any of us have flaws?

• Strengths
• Flaws

Skills

• Highest (expert)
• Strong (Competent and can contribute)
• Moderate  (competent)
• Light (participant)

Dreams

• Minimal or no skill but strong interest

Where do I want to be in five years?

• Overview
• Specific areas
  • Self
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Career
  • Finances
  • Hobbies/ travel/ enjoyable activities
  • Giving back

Action Plan

• Each area
  • Specific steps
  • Time frames

My concept of an action plan has changed over this last year. I historically have put time frames around my projects. To a large degree, it has been helpful and also a step to consider. However, one of my mentors who is an incredibly successful businessman counseled me to write down my projects/ vision, then ask myself if I am thinking big enough? Then he said to take time out of the equation because it only creates more anxiety. It is concept that I am still trying to figure out, as I have been so process oriented.

I would venture to say that in the context of being in chronic pain, that removing time from the process is a good idea. He is right about the anxiety factor. It is inflammatory, drains your energy, and you are less apt to achieve your vision.

What about the pain?

The key to this template is to create it without regards to the status of your pain. What do want to do with your life, with or without the pain?

Then create a focused plan regarding your chronic pain. You clearly have been seeking treatment for a while, sometimes for decades. Now that you understand the specific aspects of pain, break out the ones that are relevant to your life, and create an action plan for each and all of them. The more organized you can become, the more effective you will be in solving it. Without a plan, you will remain a victim of a disorganized health care system. Don’t let that continue to be your reality.

One of the cardinal rules of healing is to minimize your time talking about your pain and medical care. This is still a core concept. However, creating an action plan around your pain and medical care is the opposite energy. Instead of being at the mercy of the circumstances, you are taking control, which also happens to be anti-inflammatory.

Recap

You have heard me present the idea of moving forward with or without your pain many times. It is challenging to implement this because you have been so used to being trapped by the pain and your circumstances. You may be thinking that I don’t really understand the depth of your suffering, and I don’t. I am not you and only know that the extent of my suffering was severe and that there is only one choice. You must move away from your pain circuits and forward into the life you want in order to get there. We clearly know that first trying to “fix “your pain means that your pain is running your life and it is being reinforced. Besides, since mental pain is the bigger issue for most people, there is not an end point. Life keeps coming at all of us. You are learning strategies to process stress more efficiently so you can move on. But you have to move on.

Questions and considerations

1. This step of taking the time and effort to create a plan for your life is a bigger step than you might think. The essence of healing is creating a shift in your brain from your pain circuits onto more enjoyable ones. That doesn’t just happen.
2. Have you ever considered your life in terms of running a business?
3. Even if you are completely incapacitated with pain at this moment, please spend a few minutes a day with this process. Any movement forward will help.
4. Your life has been at the mercy of others for a while. What would it feel like to regain control?

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