• Most of us have become so used to solving problems and just making ends meet that we have lost sight of what we really want out of life.
• It is impossible to move forward without some idea of where you want to go.
• View you and your life as a “business” and what do you want to achieve in your life, regardless of the pain.
• By executing any part of your plan, you are moving away from your pain and into a more enjoyable life.

It is the norm for most of us to run our lives by continually fixing problems. We not only get worn down, but we don’t have the pleasure of achieving our dreams. A friend of mine uses the term “surviving and fixing” to describe this approach to living life. He challenges himself and his audiences to develop a “vision of excellence” regarding their own lives. Create the vision of where you want to be and then break it down into doable steps.

Your business plan

Here is a suggested template that to develop a “business plan” for your life. Visualize yourself as a small business trying to accomplish specific goals. Instead of having a nagging sense of not doing what you really want, clearly define the variables. You could also use a more complex small business template and be more specific.

Self-Inventory Template

Overview of self today:

Core Values

• Self
• Family
• Friends
• Career
• Finances
• What brings me joy?
• Giving back

Character – be honest with yourself on both accounts. None of us are perfect, and I have long said that if all of us have “flaws”, why do any of us have flaws?

• Strengths
• Flaws

Skills

• Highest (expert)
• Strong (Competent and can contribute)
• Moderate  (competent)
• Light (participant)

Dreams

• Minimal or no skill but strong interest

Where do I want to be in five years?

• Overview
• Specific areas
  • Self
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Career
  • Finances
  • Hobbies/ travel/ enjoyable activities
  • Giving back

Action Plan

• Each area
  • Specific steps
  • Time frames

My concept of an action plan has changed over this last year. I historically have put time frames around my projects. To a large degree, it has been helpful and also a step to consider. However, one of my mentors who is an incredibly successful businessman counseled me to write down my projects/ vision, then ask myself if I am thinking big enough? Then he said to take time out of the equation because it only creates more anxiety. It is concept that I am still trying to figure out, as I have been so process oriented.

I would venture to say that in the context of being in chronic pain, that removing time from the process is a good idea. He is right about the anxiety factor. It is inflammatory, drains your energy, and you are less apt to achieve your vision.

What about the pain?

The key to this template is to create it without regards to the status of your pain. What do want to do with your life, with or without the pain?

Then create a focused plan regarding your chronic pain. You clearly have been seeking treatment for a while, sometimes for decades. Now that you understand the specific aspects of pain, break out the ones that are relevant to your life, and create an action plan for each and all of them. The more organized you can become, the more effective you will be in solving it. Without a plan, you will remain a victim of a disorganized health care system. Don’t let that continue to be your reality.

One of the cardinal rules of healing is to minimize your time talking about your pain and medical care. This is still a core concept. However, creating an action plan around your pain and medical care is the opposite energy. Instead of being at the mercy of the circumstances, you are taking control, which also happens to be anti-inflammatory.

Recap

You have heard me present the idea of moving forward with or without your pain many times. It is challenging to implement this because you have been so used to being trapped by the pain and your circumstances. You may be thinking that I don’t really understand the depth of your suffering, and I don’t. I am not you and only know that the extent of my suffering was severe and that there is only one choice. You must move away from your pain circuits and forward into the life you want in order to get there. We clearly know that first trying to “fix “your pain means that your pain is running your life and it is being reinforced. Besides, since mental pain is the bigger issue for most people, there is not an end point. Life keeps coming at all of us. You are learning strategies to process stress more efficiently so you can move on. But you have to move on.

Questions and considerations

1. This step of taking the time and effort to create a plan for your life is a bigger step than you might think. The essence of healing is creating a shift in your brain from your pain circuits onto more enjoyable ones. That doesn’t just happen.
2. Have you ever considered your life in terms of running a business?
3. Even if you are completely incapacitated with pain at this moment, please spend a few minutes a day with this process. Any movement forward will help.
4. Your life has been at the mercy of others for a while. What would it feel like to regain control?

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How can you access your unconscious brain? One necessary step is to first develop an awareness of what is currently being embedded into it. I was staying in Half Moon Bay after our day of shooting videos and I began to notice the signs.

Repetition

One of the traits required to access and alter your subconscious is repetition. I realized that much of what is presented to us is negative. If it was verbal, it would be considered nagging. We are subjected to an endless number of “You” messages and we are so used to it that probably most of us don’t notice it happening.

You might feel that even considering this topic of our environmental messaging to be a complete waste of time. Maybe it is. However, it also strikes me that most people have an ongoing voice in their heads saying, “You are not good enough.” Where did that come from?

“Not good enough”

We hold a Q&A session every Tuesday and Thursday and one theme that keeps arising is endless forms of self-critical messaging that have heard from childhood from their parents, teachers, and friends. Some people call it “setting high standards.” Unfortunately, that is not true. It is one thing to have a “vision of excellence” and take action to pursue your goals. It is another to “never be good enough.” It does drive many to “achieve”, but at what price? This same energy that took you to the top of the hill is what often takes you down the other side. This voice is so deeply programmed that there is not an easy way to turn it off.

Then the marketing world does its best to continue to feed us this message and then presents us “solutions” to improve our appearance, clothing, body, athletic skills, etc. It is impossible to comprehend the effects of this ongoing messaging. Then look at these signs. I am walking on a beautiful beach walkway and these “you messaging” signs are everywhere. I gave up taking pictures.

Whatever………

Additionally, it really doesn’t work to change behavior. We become immune. We all know better than to litter. We don’t need signs to remind us. Even the threat of a fine doesn’t really stop people from doing it. The people who don’t litter don’t do it because they have some level of consideration for property that belongs to all of us – the view. The ones who will litter, will do it anyway. Guess what I found on the pathway right below “clean up after your dog” sign? Threats and punishment create only short-term behavioral changes. We know that children become desensitized to the word, “No” and continue to act out. They also understand they have captured the adult’s attention and they are the ones with the power.

Step back and look around you. We are surrounded with negative messages from every direction. Be assured that they are having an effect on you. “I am not OK the way I am right now.” “You can’t be trusted to do the right thing.” Do you have to hear what to do about suspicious objects every 15 minutes on the airport loudspeaker?

Choose carefully

I am not going to spend a lot of energy on the reasons why this is happening. None of us have a say in how our society continues to assault us with these messages. We can’t change our past regarding the way your parents, teachers, coaches, or bosses “motivated” you with endless criticism. But what about this moment forward. What messages are you choosing to program your brain with? What do you read? What movies do you watch? What about your ongoing self-critical input with your own mind? Are your critical of your spouse, partner, or children? What are they hearing from you?

The other point that Bruce Lipton made was that in order to access your subconscious, it requires repetition. It is clear that the negative input for most of us far exceeds the positive. But you have a choice and you can choose to input you whatever you would like. Positive outlook and vision is a different energy than positive thinking. No one is asking you to be happy about something that is unpleasant. If something is bad, it is bad. But when you are not in a crisis and have a choice, why not choose something enlightening and fulfilling. It will eventually become a habit, and your brain physically changes structure.

Then a little later that weekend, my wife and I were riding our bikes past a small shop that exuded much different feeling.

I don’t have a solution today for this problem. We are exposed to incessant negative messaging from the time we develop consciousness. But there are effective means of dealing with it. They begin with awareness. Once you become aware of the nature of what your brain is being bombarded with, you can observe your body’s response. Now you have choices. One of them is to use strategies that train your brain to focus in a different direction and calm your neurochemical reactions. This is a different process than positive thinking. It is creating your vision.

More importantly is to understand the effects of what you are choosing to upload into your computer (brain). If your brain is stuck on negativity, you’ll continue to reinforce it. Once you change the way you look at and process information, you’ll be able to stimulate your brain to physically develop in the direction of your choice (neuroplasticity).

1. Lipton, Bruce. The Biology of Belief. Hay House, 2016 – 10th anniversary edition.

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