• Most of us strongly commit to making concrete changes at beginning of a New Year. Why can’t we follow through more consistently?
• The reason is because our behavioral patterns are so deeply ingrained. Just deciding to make a change won’t make it so.
• The commitment needed is to pursue aspects of your healing journey every day whether you are successful or not.
• The other commitment is a deeper one to keep moving forward towards your vision regardless of the obstacles.
• Then you have to trust your skills.

I was skiing on Christmas day, 2008, with my son Nick and his best friend Holt. Holt was the 2007 US mogul champion (bump skiing). My son had just won a national mogul event the two weeks earlier. The three of us were standing on top of a cornice at Snowbird, Utah. For non-skiers, a cornice is a snow formation that occurs at the top of a mountain ridge. As the wind blows the snow up the mountain a drop-off of 20-40 feet will be formed. Most skiers make a diagonal trail down this drop-off, which is fairly simple and safe. US ski team skiers often jump straight off of them.

Just below the cornice was a chute that was about 20 feet wide at the top but only about six feet wide about 2/3 of the way down. About 100 feet down on the left there was an outcropping of rocks, and it was about 200 feet before it opened up.

“Don’t attempt it!!”

While Holt was looking down at this chute, I said to him, “Holt, you are on the US ski team. I don’t think your coaches are going to be thrilled with you skiing down this kind of terrain.” He looked at me and immediately jumped into the chute. He skied about 75 feet straight down, made a gentle turn to the right, another gentle turn to the left and ended up in a large bowl. Nick started off to the right, jumped from a 15-foot cliff into the same chute and made the same turns into the bowl. They were traveling about 40-50 mph when they reached the open area. This was simply an undoable feat for most human beings. It was clear that if they did not remain committed to their decision that they had a high chance of a serious injury.

Practice, practice, practice – and trust yourself

They had been involved in competitive skiing for nine years. Each year, they had logged over 120 days on the slopes, worked on their jumping skills on water ramps in the summer, and exercised in the weight room several times per week. Every winter they spent the first few weeks on flat simple terrain honing basic turning techniques. They had supreme confidence to ski an icy mogul course at high speeds and had a strong commitment to excellence.

They each knew they could make that jump because they were supremely confident skiers and had done tough jumps before. So, when they made the jump into this steep chute, they were well within their capacity to execute the move. But at that moment, it also required them to commit.

Your life

Consider your life with regards to your capacity to effectively deal with adversity, pick yourself up when you fail, and keep moving forward. Unfortunately, most of us are not taught these skills in school, or within our families. Once we are out in the world, life becomes more competitive and the emphasis turns to survival, physically and emotionally.

Why not view your life from the perspective of an athlete, performing artist, or musician? There is a singular focus learning and mastering basics and acquiring additional expertise with repetition. Is your life any less important?

Recap

Commit to scheduling time daily with doable tasks that will stimulate your brain to change. Eventually, with repetition, these more functional behavioral patterns will become your baseline and you will be able to transform your life into one that you want. Don’t hesitate in your pursuit of your new life. It happens from connection, confidence, and commitment. Schedule it into your day.

The approach of the healing journey is not focused on “fixing” yourself. It is about acquiring skills to navigate adversity more effectively. You will spend less time in flight or fight physiology and your body and brain will heal.

Questions and considerations

1. How confident are you in your capacity to navigate adversity?
2. Did you ever consider it in terms of a learned skill?
3. How committed are you to living an excellent life, regardless of the obstacles?
4. We often have high expectations for our children or partners. What are your expectations of yourself? Are you the person you want your children to be?
5. This series of questions is not about being perfect. We are all “flawed” and endlessly fall short of our expectations. The issue is, “what is your ongoing commitment to living a better life and being an example?”
6. The problem is that while suffering from chronic pain, your energy becomes drained to the point that you may not care anymore. It is the reason that your commitment must begin with, “doing something” and keeping at it.

The post Commit to a Daily Practice first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Commit to a Daily Practice appeared first on Back in Control.

• Most of us intellectually understand that the only moment we have in life is this very one. That is it.
• Being in medicine for over 40 years has shown me the incredible unpredictability of life. Life changes in second – sudden heart attack, bad car accident, diagnosis of terminal cancer, and the list is endless.
• But our minds play tricks on us by constantly worrying about the future and hanging onto regrets from the past.
• This problem arises from our unconscious mind that is protecting us. It is continually scanning the present looking for situations from the past that were perceived or were actually dangerous.
• So, your actions today are a result of your cumulative perceptions of what is safe – or not.
• You can’t control this response but by using tools to stay connected to the moment, its impact is lessened.

Commitment to change is one thing but sticking with it is challenging. One way to help yourself along is to bite off small bits at a time and proactively make the choices all day long. It will become a habit and your norm. A starting point is repeatedly asking yourself a simple question, “Who do I choose to be today?”

A tough start to my day

One morning I woke up feeling low, having just completed eight straight 15-hour workdays, including a long weekend. As I lay there exhausted on a Tuesday morning, I reviewed my choices: either 1) stay in bed feeling sorry for myself; or 2) give thanks for the opportunity to help so many patients during the week, be grateful for how well the week went, and meet my work-out group early at the gym. I chose the second alternative. I got up, worked out, went into the office, and gave 100% to each patient and my staff. I’m not saying it was easy; but it turned out to be a great day.

Proactively choosing how to experience your day is the farthest thing from “positive thinking.” No one is asking you to pretend to be happy when you are coping with a difficult situation, especially your ongoing pain. On the contrary, you must be aware of the depth of your frustration before you can choose to live a full and productive life with or without pain – or decide to enjo. Positive substitution—filling your life with positive experiences— is the essence of neurological reprogramming.

A Tough Beginning

Recently, I was talking to a friend’s teenage son. This kid was good-looking, athletic, and personable; yet he felt isolated, insecure, anxious, and emotionally unstable. He continually compared himself to others and tried to fit in. He was also justifiably upset about his family situation. His father, who was extremely critical of him, had essentially abandoned him by moving out of the country. I  understood where he was coming from, since his experience was not much different from mine at his age.

About halfway through our conversation I realized that he too, had a choice. I pointed out that, after years of stress, he had remained remarkably intact. He could choose to be proud of his resilience in the face of adversity and use this gift to take on new challenges. I could see his eyes light up.

Some suggestions

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) seems to be rampant in this modern era. Maybe it is because we are overwhelmed with options? What we are missing out on is enjoying our day. It is a deeply embedded thinking pattern that doesn’t resolve over time. It requires specific approaches.

You can’t “solve” FOMO. By trying not to be this way, you’ll actually reinforce these circuits. The answer lies in cultivating connection, meaning, and purpose. Trying to be “happy” actually doesn’t work due to the “ironic effect.”¹

• Nurture deep gratitude for you have. It may not be as much as you want but focus on it.
• Compare your situation to those who are less well off than you. It may not seem possible in light of your pain but start somewhere.²
• Become aware of how frantic you get about your “to do” list and how endless it is. It is endless for all of us.
• Then don’t put ANYTHING on your list that you are not going to do TODAY.
• Frequently practice active meditation or breath work to calm yourself. It is one tool that connects you to the moment you are in.
• Listen to some of your favorite music – especially if it is connected to enjoyable experiences from the past.
• What is one thing you can do today that brings you pleasure? – a cup of coffee  your favorite donut; a call to a close friend; a compliment to a family member or friend; anything. There is an endless of list of small deeds that can change your day.

Recap – Your choice

What do you want out of your life? Is it more than being a sufferer enduring pain? Do you really want to live your one life this way? Of course not, you may be thinking. But trust me. It is unlikely that you will magically wake up one morning and find your troubles gone. Focusing on solutions is an ongoing conscious choice because your powerful unconscious brain automatically gravitates towards the problems. There are no shortcuts.

So, who do you want to be today? Choose carefully because you will either be reinforcing old neurological circuits or creating new ones. What is your choice this year, this month, today, the next 15 minutes, or this minute? Carve a few minutes out every morning to ask yourself that question, ponder your options, and commit to whatever choice you make.

Questions and considerations

1. The impact of chronic pain on your life has been documented to be that of having terminal cancer – except worse.³ So, first of all, honor your own suffering and give yourself a break.
2. Depending on the severity of your suffering, you may not feel like nurturing a better life, even for a few minutes. This is one point in your journey that you must begin somewhere, and the next 10 minutes is the place.
3. Then you have to keep repeating it, whether you feel like it or not.
4. Even when you are feeling better (and it will happen with practice), you’ll still gravitate towards the negative because that is what your powerful unconsciousness brain is supposed to do – protect you from danger.
5. To have a good life, you have to live a good life. It is just the way your nervous system works.

References

1. Wegner DM. The seed of our undoing. Psychological Science Agenda (1999); Jan/Feb:10-11.
2. Dalai Lama. The Art of Happiness. Penguin Random House. New York, NY, 1998.
3. Fredheim OM, Kaasa S, Fayers P, Saltnes T, Jordhøy M, Bortchgrevink PC. Chronic non-malignant pain patients report as poor health-related quality of life as palliative cancer patients. Acta Anaesthesiol Scand (2008); 52:143-148. 

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We are all programmed by our past The way we survive is that our brain is constantly comparing the present to the past and any situation that triggers a hint of a prior threatening scenario, will create a danger signal. There are over 20 million bits of sensory input being processed every second. This warning system has different forms – hot, cold, sharp, pressure, dizzy, bright, loud, bitter, rancid, and the list is long. However, they are all creating a similar reaction of being unpleasant enough to compel you to take action to solve it. They can all be lumped under the word, “pain” and the simultaneous reaction of anxiety.

Since this is what our brain is repetitively processing the environment every second, it is all being deeply programmed into your nervous system. It is also the reason that chronic pain (anxiety) almost always worsens with time. You are becoming more skilled in recognizing and feeling the pain. It is similar to a pianist practicing to the point where he or she develops the skills to be considered a virtuoso performer. The term for this process is, “neuroplasticity.” We are all programmed by our past up to this exact second.

The Talent Code What does this have to do with my golf swing? One of the first books I have historically had my patients read is a book called The Talent Code by Dan Coyle. He has done a wonderful job of looking at the factors that create genius. It is a growing observation that genius is rarely born. It occurs after about 10,000 hours of repetition. However, it is a specific kind of repetition called “deep learning.” The other two factors are “ignition” (obsessive repetitions) and “master coaching” (laying down the correct pathways).

Deep learning is the most basic concept in that it is necessary to enter information into your brain in a way that you can retain it. Each of us knows that if you just read or hear some new information that you will retain very little of it. It is necessary to use some technique such as visualization, verbally repeating new thoughts and concepts to yourself, writing them down, analyzing and challenging the ideas, re-interpreting material according to your perception of it, etc. By using techniques you are comfortable with, you can increase your learning by 500 to 600%. Conversely, random repetitions will decrease learning by 15-20%. In other words, you must actively process information to retain it and make it part of your nervous system. Master coaching keeps the repetitions within a narrow range.

Holt’s deep learning So, my way I approached golf was to take a lesson, learn a new concept, not practice enough, and jump to another concept. It is no wonder that I never came close to being an expert. My son’s best friend, Holt, won the 2007 US Mogul skiing championship by using deep learning. He broke down one of jumps called a “D-spine” into 13 different parts. Each practice jump was focused on just one of the components. It is a stunt where the skier does both a back flip and rotates sideways. He could lay down a competitive run almost 80% of the time, which is stunning considering the complexity of the sport. And he did it by practicing about a third as much as most of his competitors. Consider chronic pain. You are trapped by relentless unpleasant sensations without an obvious alternative. The pain impulses fit the definition of “deep learning” in that they are so specific. The obsessive repetition is self-apparent and these circuits don’t require master coaching.

Stimulating neuroplasticity So, these basic automatic survival circuits are permanently embedded. Paradoxically, the more you pay attention to them or, even worse, suppress them, the stronger they will become. The key is to reprogram your brain to have alternative and more functional responses to threat – whether it is real or perceived. There are three steps: 1) awareness of the automatic response 2) create some “space” between the stimulus and reaction  3) substitute a response that is your choice. With repetition your brain will develop new circuits that are more pleasant and eventually automatic. You are creating a new nervous system within your current one. It is similar to having a virtual desktop installed on your computer. By trying to “fix” my bad golf swing, I got nowhere. If I had created and pursued a vision of what I wanted to create, I may have had more success. You have heard the saying, “Practice makes perfect.” What is more true is, “Perfect practice makes perfect.” Why keep embedding your mistakes or dysfunctional reactive patterns?    

“I read your book and I still hurt” It is common for people to say that they have read multiple books, including Back in Control, and they still feel the same. Yet when I ask them what reprogramming skills they are regularly using, the answer is always the same – none or maybe just a couple on occasion. You don’t want your brain’s reactive response to a threat to always be unpleasant. Even worse, what we often perceive as a threat is actually not a threat. It is a “cognitive distortion” and really a huge waste of time and energy. If you want to break free from pain, you have to develop a regular practice. It does not require much time once you have learned the healing concepts.

The DOC Journey presents a sequence of learning that allows you to first understand the nature of the problem, develop a strong foundation by using tools to calm and stabilize your nervous system, provides strategies to break free from your past programming, and most importantly move forward into the life that you desire. What kind of golf game (life) do you desire? I am probably not going to commit to a great golf swing at this point in my life. You have no idea how much I know about the mechanics of the swing, but I don’t want to spend that much time practicing. But I am committed to learning as much as I can about the latest neuroscience research around chronic disease and bringing these ideas into the public domain. My personal challenge is presenting them as clearly as possible. I am excited about learning these skills and encouraged that patients are responding more quickly. I am continually inspired by people’s persistence and courage in the face of the adversity of chronic pain.

References:

1. Coyle, Dan. The Talent Code: Greatness isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How. Random House, New York, NY, 2009.

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