• Relaxing
• Rewiring
• Reframing
• Re-connecting

Here are a couple of stories I would like to share with you about reframing.

Twenty dollars

When my daughter, Jaz, was about 13 we were helping my wife host a tango party (milonga) at her dance studio. Once a month she held an all-night milonga for about 100 people. Jaz and I weren’t that happy to be there and she was already in a bad mood. After much encouragement I was about ready to give up when I had an idea. I said, “Look, I’ll give you twenty dollars if you can be happy for the next hour.” Much to my surprise, she not only took me up on it but she had a great time the rest of the evening since she knew many people who were happy to see her. (she still took my twenty dollars) Even now when she dips into a negative state of mind I’ll remind her about that experience.

“I decided to enjoy what I do”

Another story that comes to mind is about a friend of mine who was in dental school at the same time I was in medical school. We remained close friends after graduation. He set up his dental practice in a small town and was reasonably successful. However, he wasn’t that happy. He was isolated. It was hard to consistently hire good help. He wasn’t living where he wanted to be and the list went on. About a year later, I spent the weekend with him and he was a different person. He was energized and excited about building his practice, which was now thriving. Nothing else had changed. I asked him, “What happened?” He replied, “I decided to enjoy what I do.” That was it. He continued to grow the practice to the point where he could and did sell it and moved back to his hometown.

Reframing is not positive thinking

Positive thinking is a global from of thought suppression that is detrimental to your mental health and secondarily your physical health. In fact, one recent study showed that it damages the hippocampus of the brain, which is the short and long-term memory processing center. (2) Reframing, is different in that you first become aware of your negative thinking and then you make a conscious choice to substitute a more functional thoughts or outlook. Positive substitution is the essence of the stimulating neuroplastic changes in the brain. The Dangers of Positive Thinking

“The Choice Theory”

William Glasser was a well-known educator who authored, The Choice Theory, (3) well before the possibilities of neuroplasticity were known. It’s an excellent book about how to effectively relate to adverse circumstances. One choice would be to change the circumstances. If you don’t have that choice, though, you can change how you relate to them.

In a prior post I have used the metaphor of a hurricane in addressing life stresses. The extreme winds of the hurricane can represent your racing thoughts or circumstances. You can’t control your mind and most circumstances are also out of our control. You cannot stop a hurricane and you’ll also waste a lot of energy trying to slow down your mind or control your difficult situations. The intent of the DOC process is provide you the tools that allow you to be in the center of the storm and remain there. The above stories involved situations that could not be changed but each person had a choice about how to relate to them. The Eye of the Storm

Positive substitution

I attended a two-day seminar at The Pacific Institute, which was founded by a Northwest football coach, Lou Tice. He had a remarkable outlook on life regarding how to be both personally and professionally successful. One important concept he presented was that our brains are continually pounded by negative thinking, which will create deeply etched-in unpleasant neurological pathways. He pointed out what now seems obvious, “Why not program your brain by substituting positive thoughts?” You again have to be aware of the negative thoughts in order to substitute.

Another problem in maintaining a negative life outlook is that your brain and body is already negatively pre-primed with stress chemicals, so when you do encounter adversity you are more quickly apt to over-react and be in an even worse mood. It affects your quality of life and you will be less able to come up with creative solutions for problems at work and home?  From reactive to creative

We all have a daily choice regarding how to view our lives.

“Better Not Look Down”

1. Seminowicz DA, et al. “Effective treatment of chronic low back pain in humans reverses abnormal brain anatomy and function.” The Journal of Neurosci­ence (2011); 31: 7540-7550.
2. Hulbert, JC. Inducing amnesia through systemic suppression. Nature Communications (2016); 7:1103.
3. Glasser, William. The Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom. HarperCollins, 1998.

The post Changing Your Story – Reframing first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Changing Your Story – Reframing appeared first on Back in Control.