• Anytime you are anxious or frustrated, something from the past has invaded the present.
• By definition, you cannot be completely connected to what is right in front of you.
• To change these automatic hardwired reactions, you must first create some “space” between you and your reaction.
• Learning and mastering specific skills allows this to happen.
• You must “C” first in order to come out of the reactive mode.

Hard work and creativity are equally important to successfully developing and implementing new ideas, both personally and in the business world. It can be argued that insanity is the antithesis of creativity. Consider Albert Einstein’s thoughts on what constitutes insane behavior.

Insanity is

Doing the same thing

Over and over

And expecting a different result.

Looking at this quote more carefully, you might ask why a person would continue to engage in obviously self-destructive behavior, especially if it is destructive in business and in one’s personal life. One reason is that we become conditioned throughout our lifetime to react automatically to certain stimuli based our unique programmed patterns. To create meaningful change, it is critical to break up these automatic links. You can then reprogram your responses to unpleasant stimuli. There are three steps in reprogramming your nervous system.

1) Awareness

2) Separation

3) Creating new circuits

Kinds of awareness

Awareness is the link to every aspect of The DOC Journey, which is a metaphor for your life. We have presented four types of awareness:

• Environmental
• Emotional
• Judgement/ Storytelling
• Ingrained patterns

It is clear that the first step in cultivating deeper awareness is recognizing when you are unaware. Awareness is the opposite of projecting your perception of the world onto others and situations. Understanding the different types of awareness allows you to expand your consciousness quickly. You are continuing to reinforce your life outlook in that if your life “data input” confirms your view, it strengthens it. What is more problematic is that if you receive conflicting input, you’ll reject it. This is an even more powerful force in strengthening your outlook and “filter.” How can you really learn and change? Continually projecting your views eventually becomes tedious and you’ll become more “set in your ways.” It is the way your brain works. The marketing world calls this phenomenon, “reactance”, and they use it to their advantage.¹

Make some “space”

Consider how much more interesting life could be if you learned the skill of creating some “space” before your brain instantly kicks into a reactive or projection mode. Then you would be better able to see others’ views, meet their needs, and it is incredibly more interesting. Words like curiosity, awe, gratitude, compassion, and empathy will re-enter your consciousness. Your body chemistry shifts into safety physiology resulting in a deep sense of connection and contentment.

Anger is the antithesis of awareness. Yet in chronic pain you are trapped and understandably angry. Anger completely blocks awareness by definition. Yet you need to become aware to break through the anger barrier. It is a terribly vicious cycle and that is why it requires tools and persistence to move through anger.

Awareness – “C’ing”

The first step in problem solving is seeing ALL aspects of a given problem AND having a choice in how to respond. To be creative, the “C/see” needs to be first. All of us know that certain phrases, behaviors, situations, people, etc. will elicit a fairly predictable and rapid reaction. You are reacting before you have even absorbed or comprehended the full scope of the problem. Consequently, you may make a flawed decision. Unfortunately, these programmed reactions become stronger with age and repetition. The phrase, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is an accurate phrase. It is not that the dog cannot be taught. He or she must be open to being taught.

It is helpful to be aware of these two words throughout the day. You can quickly see when you are in a reaction and can quickly switch into a creative mode. Experiencing creativity is not only effective, but also more enjoyable.

Reactive

Creative

Recap

The difference between these two words – and these two concepts – is that in the word “creative,” the “C”  is at the beginning. You must understand and see a problem first before you can solve it. In “reactive” the “C” is buried in the middle of the word. The location of the letter “C/see” can be thought of as reflecting the concepts this article is conveying. It’s a good way to remember why you cannot be creative in problem solving if you are in a reactive mode.

There are many methods of accomplishing this. Instead of having a “stimulus-automatic response” situation, you now have a “stimulus-choice of response” scenario. With repetition, the more functional responses will become the automatic default mode. That is the beauty of neuroplasticity.

Questions and considerations

1. Have you noticed that when you are upset, it seems like your thinking is clear, sharp, and focused? It is except that it is all about you.
2. Do you really feel you are able to see the situation through the other person’s eyes? Are you able to see and evaluate all possible solutions in this state?
3. It is humbling and sobering that when you are calm, many answers become obvious in retrospect. Anger really is temporary insanity.
4. Consider the possibility that you have been in a baseline state of being upset for so long, that it feels “normal “to you. It is one of the core ingrained patterns that is almost impossible to see without outside help.

References

1. Berger, Jonah. The Catalyst: How to Change Anyone’s Mind. Simon and Schuster. New York, NY, 2020.

The post From Reactive to Creative first appeared on Back in Control.

The post From Reactive to Creative appeared first on Back in Control.

It’s not them, it’s us

Regardless of your political leanings, our politicians are not the problem with our society. I am not a great historian but it was clear all of our recent political candidates for president exuded anger, righteous indignation and were human verbal flame throwers. Whatever happened to focusing on the issues and the different choices in solving them? They are not the problem. It is us. We are angry and politics are simply a reflection of our collective consciousness. It would not have mattered who won. The problem is deep and has been there throughout human history. Cultural angst festers, explodes and re-accumulates. We continue to espouse world peace but have never been able to break this cycle. This time we can and world peace is a possible.

Insanity is 

Doing the same thing

Over and over

And expecting a different result.

-Albert Einstein

It is a possibility because we just underwent a bloodless revolution. We irrationally threw out anything that had to do with the current political structure and tore through both the Democratic and Republican party. How is this possible? You might be thinking that my line of thinking is implausible. It is not. We now have a choice of deciding what we really want – as a people, not by political leanings – unless you want to hold on to it.

Anger/ Rage

Anger is the problem. It does not matter what religion, race, political belief, sexual preference you are. It also does not matter how justified you are in your anger. The more legitimate your anger, the more difficult it is to let it go. It will still destroy you. There are many problems created by continuing to remain in this state.

• You cannot think clearly when you are upset. It is a self-centered reactive survival response that happens in your powerful unconscious brain. Dwight Eisenhower finally realized that he could not make good choices when he was angry.
• Through a neurological phenomenon of mirror neurons your anger will stimulate anger in those around you. Have you noticed that when you yawn others around you will yawn? It is a direct stimulation of that part of the other person’s brain. That is why it is so critical for a leader not to negatively set off this process on a large scale.
• The only way issues are solved through anger is a fight and the most powerful entity wins. Is that what we want?

What is the solution?

The solution is you? You have heard the oft-repeated quote, “The only person you can change is you.” It is true and it works. The first step is awareness of:

• Your anger
• Its effect on your quality of life
• Your family’s experience when you are upset.
• Your co-workers’ reactions and impact on their quality of life.
• Your personal impact on society.
• The nature of anger
  • It is driven by anxiety
  • It happens when you lose control

Healing

Awareness is the first step of healing. You cannot solve a problem that you don’t understand. One of my remarkably successful mentors made a comment about a recent turn of events, “Never waste a crisis.”

We are now painfully aware of our societal anger and we can choose to be a part of it or look at it as an opportunity learn how to personally process it and share our awareness in our circles of influence. Once you are aware of the nature of the problem you can find the solution. If you choose to remain angry, you have also lost your right to complain. You have made a choice to continue to spiral down into your own personal societal abyss. No politician or external circumstance will ever bring you deep happiness and joy.

My challenge – to you and me

I am challenging you to wake up, look up and move forward – with your individual and societal pain. You will soon leave your pain behind and also made a significant contribution to our collective consciousness and planet.

The second edition of my book is based on the recent neuroscience research that is demonstrating that emotional and physical pain are equivalent entities since they are processed in similar areas of the brain. Since you cannot escape your thoughts, you are trapped – and angry. This is not a political problem.

Become aware of the relationship between anxiety and anger, incorporate the principles into your own life and become part of the solution. There is not another alternative. World peace then becomes a possibility and at some tipping point becomes a probability. It is the next step in the evolution of human consciousness.

I am upset about many terrible trends that are occurring and the fog of anger that is engulfing us. I have my own work to do………

The post Society’s Pain and World Peace first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Society’s Pain and World Peace appeared first on Back in Control.