It is only about me

The problem is that our primitive brains are wired to ensure our survival, at all costs. At the same time, the reason we as a species survived at all is that we learned to cooperate with each other. Unfortunately, our highly evolved consciousness, which allowed us to dominate earth’s food chain, is no match for our unconscious survival instincts. So our conscious efforts to control our instinctive patterns of behavior usually are doomed to failure. The neurophysiological basis of chronic pain

Your “story”

Since our survival behaviors are often not exactly virtuous, we do many things to “dis-identify” from them. The common strategy is to concoct a story of who we are, called self-image, largely based on external feedback. Another expression for this activity is building self-esteem. We aspire to high self-esteem by avoiding negative thoughts about ourselves and reinforcing positive ones. Trying not to be judgemental

Now, part of this practice yields positive results. Our brains will develop in areas where we place attention; and consistently choosing a positive outlook is healthy. The problem arises from suppressing the unconscious tendency to be on the alert for danger, which has serious consequences. Your personal brain scanner You are now focusing energy doing battle with powerful unconscious neurological circuits. You cannot win. You are inadvertently reinforcing them and wearing yourself down. There is also evidence that such suppression damages the memory centers of the brain; and in addition, may facilitate a disposition to drug addiction. Ever wonder why it is so hard to hold on to our positive thoughts and feelings? It is because our brains are always busy looking for the negative, for the worst case scenario—for our survival. The myth of self-esteem

Body image disorders

It’s incredible to me how many supermodels have body image disorders. It might have to do with the fact that so much of their “identity” is based on physical appearance. Of all the features we like and appreciate about our bodies, what do our minds tend to fixate on? On that one feature or idiosyncrasy we dislike. Since we cannot easily change it, we are trapped. It is my guess that great majority of us has some degree of body image disorder.

The same holds true of any trait we value for our identity: Intelligence, athletic skill, artistic or musical talent, toughness, net worth—the list is endless. The more important the attribute, the greater the potential for progressive anxiety.

I had lunch with a young body builder, one of the strongest people I have ever known. Hard as I tried, I could not avoid staring at his biceps, which were so large that they sagged almost parallel to the ground when he leaned his elbows on the table. He proceeded to share with me he how bad he felt about his body because he felt so “small”. It drove him to work out almost two hours a day. It hit me how strongly our images of ourselves could affect us. Many of them do not reflect reality and detract from our capacity to enjoy our lives.

One of my patients was an absolutely stunning woman with an eating disorder. When I asked her, “How would you feel if I obtained 10,000 signatures attesting to how attractive you are,” guess what she said: “They don’t really know me.”

Connecting

So what is the answer? Let it go. You are never going to win the battle with your unconscious brain. It is impossible. But you can learn to calm down your nervous system and to create new pathways that circumvent negative circuits. The general term is somatic work, and there are many avenues to get there. The focus is on clearing out the noise in your head to connect with yourself and your own capacity to heal.

Who are you allowing to define you?

“The World’s Ugliest Woman”

This video showcases a woman with a congenital disfiguring disability, who describes her struggle and resolution with self-image. She is truly inspirational. I am not sure I could have created a full and meaningful life if I had to deal with her condition. What is disturbing about her story is that someone posted her picture on the Internet with the label “The World’s Ugliest Woman.” Even more upsetting is that, of the thousands of comments, she did not find one that was supportive. What is uplifting is that, despite all the attacks from mean people, she still managed to transcend their shallow values. School or prison – What’s the difference? -Bullying

The Way to Love

I read the late Anthony DeMello’s book, The Way to Love weekly, to keep his ideas fresh in my consciousness. He presents the most compelling picture of the “attachment” trap, and provides a brilliant solution. As you become aware of your attachment to defining ourselves by external things, you have the power to dissolve it – if you want. The result is a life of freedom that is almost unimaginable.

Let go. Learn to be accepting of uncomfortable feelings. It is a learned skill using effective tools. Increase your awareness and let your ego diminish, along with your pain.

The post Your “Identity” Can Destroy You first appeared on Back in Control.

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Thought suppression

Disturbing thoughts are universal. When you have a bizarre, even unspeakable thought, of course you would suppress it. Why wouldn’t you?  It has nothing to do with anything about you or your value system. Then, as it arises again and again, it is instantly suppressed.  Eventually the suppression of the thought is automatic. Seems pretty normal, right? Except what happened is that your nervous system inadvertently gave this random thought a tremendous amount of power. Every time that thought is suppressed, that neurological circuit has been reinforced. Over many years, this circuit becomes much stronger and becomes connected with more experiences. (2) Eventually, you may consciously or unconsciously end up spending a lot of mental energy dealing with this anxiety-producing, disruptive thought(s). As you have less success in controlling the ever-increasing and powerful thoughts, you will probably become frustrated, which drives the circuits even harder.

Another variation of this phenomenon is the development of obsessive thought patterns around “forbidden activities or topics.” (3) Just inadvertent  curiosity will stimulate barrages of thoughts. What is perverse is that it is the more well-intentioned person who is more subject to this sequence. This programming process is similar to an accomplished musician or artist learning their skill. It requires years of repetition to reach the highest level. Disruptive thoughts hit the nervous system like a machine gun without an endpoint.

Your reality – your thoughts

You might ask what is the big deal? These are just thoughts. Neuroscience research has demonstrated that thoughts are your version of reality, similar to learning a cat is a cat. Your brain has to unscramble sensory input from all receptors every second to define anything. Your eyes have no capacity to interpret anything. For example, if a person suffers a stroke of the occipital lobe at the back of the brain, they can’t see even though every other component of the visual system is functioning. The term is “cortical blindness.” This is true for all sensations. To develop consciousness, your nervous system has to interpret words, body language, tone of voice, visual cues, etc. for every thought to decide where it fits and what it means. Thoughts and concepts are embedded in the same way as physical reality. We are programmed by our past and the lens through which we interpret the present. As disruptive thoughts strengthen with repetition, they even become associated with physical reactions making them even more “real.” Every human has to deal with this problem of consciousness at some level. It is often overwhelming efforts to escape result in many untoward behaviors and acting out.

Demons

These disruptive thoughts become your “demons.” They are not your demons. They are irrational, non-responsive neurological patterns that I call “robots”. You cannot deal with a robot. You cannot talk to it or reason with it. There is absolutely nothing that can be done from a rational standpoint to change an unresponsive neurological pathway. In fact, when you discuss your demons and try to figure out why they are there, you are firing up and adding complexity to the circuits. They become even stronger and you can’t unlearn them. How do you “unlearn” to ride a bike? You can’t.

It’s almost surreal that we spend so much time and energy trying to contain and deal with our demons. Not only are they not who we are, they are the opposite of who we are.  Otherwise, we would not have suppressed the thoughts in the first place. It is like changing the oil in your car when your radiator is leaking. Eventually, you are just worn down. The other consequence of this relentless repetition of unpleasant thoughts is that your body is responding with stress chemicals, which affects every cell in your body. People become ill.

A common example is that of a body image disorder. It is my contention that every person has some level of body image issues and at some tipping point they may become disruptive. Consider that there is always some aspect of your body that you don’t like. Usually it is a minimal issue that is “not a big deal”. Why even think about it? Except you live in your body and there is no escape from that tiny thought. By tossing the thought aside, you just gave it attention and it will grow and continue to do so every time the thought arises. It is also why some of the most beautiful people on the planet may suffer more than the average person because their attention is on their appearance.

Solutions

The first step in dealing with all of this is understanding the nature of the problem. These “demons” are as real to you as the chair you are sitting on. They create tremendous anxiety, which is frequently intolerable. Anxiety is not primarily psychological. It is measure of your stress chemicals and intended to create a deep feeling of dread to compel you to take action to solve a given threat. When you can’t escape the “threat”, life can be pretty miserable. It is critical to remember that rational approaches don’t work and actually may be counter-productive.

Second, you have to view these repetitive thoughts from a mechanical viewpoint and depersonalize them.  Everyone has some level of them. They are just there and are NOT who you are. Don’t give them any further personal energy. Your brain will develop wherever you place your attention.

Third, there are many strategies to rewire your brain and create new more enjoyable circuits. The term is “neuroplasticity” and the basic sequence is awareness, separation and redirecting. The tools are simple and effective with repetition. Mental pain appears to be a greater problem for most people than physical pain, although neither one is great. Your “demons” are one of the more intense aspects of it. The DOC process presents many proven strategies to rewire your brain, and each person figures out his or her unique approach.

Consider the solution being similar to cleaning out the lint in a dryer. It needs to be done regularly. Otherwise, the dryer will lose efficiency and eventually break down. I consider the use of these tools “neurological maintenance.” It is the way the nervous system functions. Think in terms of neuroplasticity. THERE ARE NO RATIONAL SHORTCUTS.

1. Wegner
2. Mansour
3. Obsessive

JYR, BF

The post Your Demons are Robots first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Your Demons are Robots appeared first on Back in Control.

Thoughts are also memorized and can become obsessive circuits. Unfortunately, the brain becomes more focused on negative thoughts because there is natural tendency to suppress them. Although you make think you are successfully conquering them, you are actually giving them more neurological attention.  “The surgeon screwed up my back.” “I can’t get out of bed.” “The pain is ruining my life.” These circuits can take on a life of their own, running on a constant loop. If left unchecked, they turn into a serious obstacle to recovery; one that’s not a psychological issue as much as it is a “programming” issue. You can develop tools to break the cycle of negative thinking, but first you have to conceptualize how the brain works.

The Talent Code

Dan Coyle wrote a book, The Talent Code, where he points out how genius is created. He also makes a nice connection to neuroscience research. There are three factors contributing to high-level learning: 1) Deep learning 2) obsessive repetition 3) Master coaching. The ideas is to engage in repetition of specific moves within a narrow range. I feel the same concepts apply to way the brain processes pain. Reading this book has been helpful for my patients to better conceptualize the formation of pain circuits. Motivated by The Talent Code

Phantom limb pain

Neurological connections associated with pain will often continue to function, even if the offending stimulus is removed. A classic example of this is “phantom limb” pain. It occurs in patients who require an amputation, usually because blood supply to the limb is compromised by vascular disease. Common causes are diabetes or atherosclerosis, when there is not enough blood to sustain viability to the limb. Prior to the amputation, lack of oxygen causes the limb to become very painful. After the limb is removed, up to 60% of patients feel the pain as though the limb were still there.  Almost 40% of sufferers characterize the pain as anywhere from distressing to even more severe than before. (4)

There is not a more definitive operation than removing the entire source of the pain by performing an amputation. The nervous system does not even know the leg is gone, and it still feels the same sensations and pain. From those of us who have the visual experience of performing these amputations, this is a dramatic example of the power of the nervous system. It is also a reminder that the brain also is an extremely complex sophisticated computer, which is programmable. To “de-program,” it takes much more than will power.

Body image disorder

Another example of a situation where a stimulus was removed, but the brain couldn’t be “de-programmed,” was a major reconstructive spine surgery that I performed in my third year of practice. Brad, the patient, was a 27 year-old athletic banker who had a moderate “hunchback” deformity called kyphosis. He was experiencing a lot of pain in middle of his back associated with it.  The deformity was about an 80- degree forward curve (the highest normal value is around 55 degrees).  I was hesitant to perform surgery, as it is a major five to six hour procedure with significant risks.  The surgery went well, however, and his curve was reduced to 50 degrees.  Post-surgery, it became clear that his body image had been his major issue, and it didn’t change at all nor did his pain.

There are many examples of negativity. However, the point is that once the nervous system becomes fixated on one specific negative thought pattern, it is not going to stop on its own. It’s possible to break the circuit but it takes very specific techniques.

Video: Standard Stress Skills Inadequate

The post 3 – Memorization of Neurological Circuits first appeared on Back in Control.

The post 3 – Memorization of Neurological Circuits appeared first on Back in Control.