• Long term change always occurs in small steps and requires persistence.
• The reason is that our behaviors today are programmed by our entire past life experiences.
• Most of your reactions are automatic, in your subconscious brain, and beyond rational control.
• However, you can reprogram your unconscious by repetition and creating more functional and enjoyable responses.
• Just start.

Many, if most of us, live our lives by endlessly dealing with challenges and then enjoying ourselves when we can. We often don’t have the time or energy to make decisions and choices to experience what we wanted when we graduated from high school. What happened to those dreams?

So, we spend a lot of time reacting to our circumstances instead of creating the life that we want. The problem is that any time you are anxious or frustrated, you are reacting to some unpleasant event from the past that was kicked up by the present. That is how every living creature survives.

We learn what is safe versus threatening and attempt to live our lives in a range that is neutral or safe. It is also well known that avoiding danger is a stronger driving force for behaviors than seeking safety. In addition to avoiding physical danger, humans strive to avoid mental threats, which have the same impact on your nervous system and body. Research has shown that the physiological responses are the same.¹ But since we cannot escape from our thoughts, all of us have some level of a constantly activated nervous system that wears us down. We have discussed many ways de-energize this process.

Then the other part of healing is moving into the part of your brain that experiences pleasure and is safe. It is a process and an acquired skill. Like becoming a virtuoso violinist, it requires repetition to make it a habit. It is again the only way to affect your subconscious brain.

ReaCtive to Creative

If you take the letter “C” out of the middle of the word, “reactive”, you have the word, “creative.” If you can create some space between your stress and reaction, you can substitute a more rational response and with repetition, your brain physically changes (neuroplasticity). A foundational step is the expressive writing, which creates space

Creating structure to organize your life lowers your stresses. You see them more clearly and make better proactive decisions. It also creates some “space” and perspective. If you can’t see all the aspects of a problem, it is harder to solve. Then you can create small behavioral changes that become habitual.

While an important aspect of this journey out of pain is to learn and adopt an organizational system, at the same time it seems overwhelming. So, the first step is to “do something” – anything. You may not have the energy to figure out what you really want at this point. But just get started.

Begin–anywhere

Start small – very small. I presented a template of a personal “business plan” earlier in this leg of the journey. You may have felt that you don’t have the bandwidth to do this or you just can’t do it. Don’t worry about it. Just do something (anything) to start the process. Here are some suggestions and whatever works for you is the key.

• Take piece of paper every morning and write down one optional goal of something you want to accomplish. Just one. It may as simple as staying out of bed for 15 minutes longer than normal.
• Then write down five things you might do to create more order in your life.
• It might resemble your normal to-do list, but it is a more thoughtful set of actions.
• One of the “to do” items could be creating some time for your self-care.
• What routine might you create to center yourself and connect with the day – with or without your pain?

Evolution of the process

 The personal business plan will evolve at some point. As you begin to change your behaviors and heal, your energy will increase.

• Sit down and do a “brain dump.”
• Don’t try to organize it.
• Over time you can begin to “sculpt” and refine it.
• Take time out of the equation. It will only create anxiety–and more pain.
• Try to avoid in making massive changes. You will only become frustrated when you can’t achieve lasting change.

Be kind to yourself

 You will “fail” many times in this process except it is not failure. It’s life. If you look at the Dynamic Healing model, we know that on some days, your stresses are overwhelming, or your nervous system is on high alert from lack of sleep. You will quickly go into flight or fight physiology and not feel great. Your pain usually increases. It is easy to be self-critical in that you were not able to accomplish what you “should” be doing. “Should” thinking is one of David Burn’s ten cognitive distortions² that drains your energy. Simply recognizing the distortion will allow you to let it go and move on.

Whatever you do, get back to the place where you can separate from your self-critical voice (can’t control it), and treat yourself with the respect and compassion that you deserve.

Recap

Since your body’s first responsibility is to keep you alive by being alert for danger, it is the powerful default program of your brain. I refer to this process as having a “personal brain scanner.”

You cannot go from reactive to creative without utilizing repetition to change the subconscious brain. Just having a vague idea of what you want to create is the starting point. Your brain will continue to develop and evolve wherever you place your attention, similar to learning any new skill. The skill you want to acquire is how to live an enjoyable life and it doesn’t happen by continually trying to fix your prior one. Consistently considering what you really want out of life and steadily working towards it  is one of the most critical aspects of breaking loose from the grip of chronic pain. But be nice to yourself when you “fail.”

Questions and considerations

1. Do you ever wonder why it is so difficult to live up to your best intentions? It’s because there is a gross mismatch between your rational brain and powerful subconscious one.
2. Your subconscious brain is the product of a lifetime of programming. Most of us were not provided methods of how to program our nervous system in the direction we desire.
3. Remember that your hopes and dreams are a rational construct that cannot be manifested without embedding implementation tools into your subconscious brain.
4. It is also the reason we can rarely keep New Year’s resolutions. We are mentally taking on a lot without a process to bring them alive.
5. People will sometimes make dramatic and lasting changes in response to a major crisis. You don’t need to wait for that to happen in order to move forward.
6. Take control of your life now with persistent small steps and let your brain evolve in the direction you choose.

References

1. Eisenberger NI, et al. An experimental study of shared sensitivity to physical pain and social rejection. Pain (2006); 126:132-138. doi: 10.1016/j.pain.2006.06.024
2. Burns David. Feeling Good. Harper Collins. New York, NY, 1999.

The post Your Life’s Roadmap – Just Begin Anywhere first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Your Life’s Roadmap – Just Begin Anywhere appeared first on Back in Control.

The gift of life

Every living creature, from one-celled organisms to mammals, have a reaction to threats that improves it odds of survival. It is intended to be so unpleasant that action has to be taken to resolve it. Once the danger is passed, the chemistry of the organism returns to a neutral or safe state. Humans have the additional characteristic of language and consciousness. Unpleasant thoughts and emotions cause the same reaction except that we can’t escape them. Repressed thoughts and emotions are even more problematic. Every person has to deal with this issue at some level. Although every animal has this response to danger, humans have labeled it “anxiety”. It describes your total bodily response to threat; it is not the cause. It signals danger and it is the pain – and also a gift.

It is critical that you separate your identity from this powerful reaction. It is amoral and unpleasant and not who you are.  The first step is to get rid of the word, “anxiety” from your vocabulary and substitute, “elevated stress chemicals” or “survival response.” So, regardless of how you accomplish it, lowering your stress hormones and levels of inflammatory proteins/cells decreases this unpleasant sensation. It does not respond rational means.

When your stresses overwhelm the coping capacity of your nervous system, you will experience mental or physical symptoms. There are ways of increasing the resiliency of your nervous system and also methods to process stress so it has less of an impact. But this response is part of life and inevitable. When it occurs, you will want to minimize the time spent in this state. This set of tools directly lower your elevated stress reaction.

Taking control of your body’s neurochemical state

Much of the effect is modulated through the vagus nerve, which is at the core of the autonomic nervous system. It is calming and strongly anti-inflammatory. Many of these suggestions directly stimulate this nerve.

Changing sensory input

• • Active meditation/mindfulness – you are placing your attention on something more pleasant.
  • Deep tissue or light touch massage
  • A cold compress to the face (Mäkinen), especially after exercising or if acutely stressed.
  • Connecting with nature – historically a basic aspect of the human experience.
    • Walking barefoot in the sand.
    • “Hearing” the silence
    • Taking in all of the senses
      • Birdwatching
      • Learn about the flowers and trees
      • Notice different smells and fragrances
    • Awareness
      • Become aware of your feelings of anxiety and anger and train yourself to separate from and observe them.
      • Awareness is a powerful tool. A pain psychologist and close friend of mine pointed out that, “You have to feel to heal.”

Breath work directly stimulates the vagus nerve, which is strongly anti-inflammatory (Mason).

A lot of research has been done on the effectiveness of meditation. It is challenging to measure as there are so many schools of thinking that espouse different methods. However, one common factor that has  been documented in an extensive medical literature review  (Zaccaro), is slow breathing.

• A respiratory rate of < 6 breaths per minute (bpm) and < 10 bpm was consistently correlated with stimulation of the parasympathetic nervous system, which also decreases inflammatory cytokines (communication proteins). Whether you paid attention to your breath or not, was not a factor.
• Breathing through your nose during either inspiration or expiration could be of some benefit.
• One deep breath, followed by a slow exhalation
• Meditation with deep breathing. Try using a counting method (such as 4 counts breathing in and 4 counts out; or 4 counts in, hold for 7, and release for 8)
• Alternating nostril breathing (block one nostril while breathing in and the other nostril while breathing out)
• Focus solely on your breath (Mason).

Calming activities

• • Acupuncture
  • Exercise – hard workouts
  • Biofeedback
  • Medical hypnosis
  • Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong

Visualization

• • Remembering in detail the most enjoyable of your life.
    • Connect with and feel it.
  • Visualize what others are seeing when you are upset.
    • Would you be attracted to you?
    • Would you want to be around you?
    • Is this really how you want to treat those who care about you?

Decrease stimulation of your nervous system

A sensitized nervous system more quickly creates anxiety. So, it is important to be mindful of activities that fire up your brain. It is not a matter of right or wrong. The point is to observe the effects on your nervous system. Consider what you feel happening to your body when you:

• Play intense video games or watch violent movies
• Argue with family members
• Watch news that upsets you

Some additional suggestions to remain calm include:

• No discussing your pain or medical care with anyone except your health care providers.
• Limiting the time that you spend watching news and other over-simulating programs.
• Choose less intense video games.
• No complaining about anything, including the pandemic.
• No criticizing anyone. You are simply projecting your view of yourself onto them.
• No offering advice that is not requested. How do you feel when you are on the receiving end?
• No gossip

These techniques are effective and necessary short-term strategies, they can be incorporated into the larger picture to solve your pain. The bottom line is to use common sense to actively calm yourself and avoid activities that stress your nervous system. It is surprising how much difference it can make.

References:

Berk LS, et al. The neuroendocrine and stress hormone changes during mirthful laughter. Am J Med Sci (1989); 6:390–396.

Kok BE, et al. How positive emotions build physical health: perceived positive social connections account for the upward spiral between positive emotions and vagal tone [published correction appears in Psychol Sci (2016); 27: 931]. Psychol Sci (2013); 24: 1123‐1132. doi:10.1177/0956797612470827.

Mäkinen TM, et al. Autonomic nervous function during whole-body cold exposure before and after cold acclimation. Aviat Space Environ Med.

Mason H, et al. Cardiovascular and respiratory effect of yogic slow breathing in the yoga beginner: what is the best approach? Evid Based Complement Alternat Med (2013); 2013:743504. doi:10.1155/2013/743504.

Miller M, et al. Positive emotions and the endothelium: Does joyful music improve vascular health? Circulation (2008); 118: S1148

Vickhoff, B, et al. Music structure determines heart rate variability of singers. Frontiers in psychology (2013); 4: 334. 10.3389/fpsyg.2013.00334.

Zaccaro A, et al. How breath control can change your life: A systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing. Frontiers of Neuroscience (2018); 12: 1-16.

The post Directly Calming the Threat Response first appeared on Back in Control.

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Survival

Humans additionally have consciousness so just thoughts can produce the same neuro-chemical reaction. Secondary needs that become a problem include social interaction, self-esteem, companionship, validation, etc. It does not matter if the thoughts are based on reality. It was my friend, Dr. Fred Lusksin and author of Forgive for Good, (1)who pointed out that your body’s main focus, is to survive, not to have a good time. Therefore the default mode for your brain is negative. This characteristic causes many errors in thinking. As they are usually irrational, there is no solution and no end. The resultant relentless anxiety eventually becomes unbearable. It also worsens with age and repetition.

We assume that solving problems will diminish anxiety. It might be true for that specific situation. But what has become obvious to me is that my brain will quickly begin scanning everything around me for more danger. If there is nothing physical to be concerned about I will experience (create) endless irrational thoughts that are disruptive. In fact when things are quiet these thoughts often become even more intense.

What did I do Wrong?

One recurring example is when someone doesn’t return an email or phone call in a timely manner, I immediately assume that I said or did something that offended him or her. Or maybe he or she just doesn’t care for me anymore. My brain immediately begins spinning. Invariably, I find out that they were out of town or dealing with a difficult situation. The delay had nothing to do with me.

A few weeks ago I sent an email to a good friend of mine to have re-sent out to a group of colleagues. I became upset when it wasn’t posted. Instead of just re-sending the email or asking about what happened, I spent hours obsessing about what I could have done or said that upset him. It turns out that he hadn’t seen it. He happened to run across it while cleaning out his “in box” and really liked it. My hours spent being agitated were a complete waste of time.

There are endless problems created by your personal scanner, which is always on high alert.

The Problems

My patients often became so focused on the situation or person who wronged them that it consumed their life. One study showed holding on to anger around an injury significantly affected the level of pain and decreased emotional well-being. (2) I’ve had many intense conversations around this scenario. They’re convinced that when their lawsuit or claim is resolved they will be happier. That’s simply not true. First of all, most of the time these situations rarely resolve quickly. Your pain/ anger pathways are now deeply imbedded and solving the problem will not reverse those circuits. What if the problem is not solvable? Do you really want to remain miserable? Elephant’s noose

Second, your brain will immediately land on another problem. It always does. Just watch.

Third, one problem might get solved but is that your only one? Life constantly throws us unhittable curve balls. How many of your issues do you need to solve before you are content? What are the odds of every problem being solved to the point where you are now happy? It isn’t going to happen and if it could you would now worry when it was all going to fall apart. The Eye of the Storm

Fourth, if you cannot truly relax on a given day without worrying, when are you going to regenerate – especially if you are not sleeping well? It is critical to relax when you have the opportunity. When do you get to enjoy your life? Enjoy Your Day Today

Possible Solutions

Your personal brain scanner can’t be turned off. You’d die. So what’s the solution? I am not pretending to be an expert on this and these are just some of my observations of approaches that I have found helpful.

1. I think the one most important strategy is awareness. I am noticing how consistently my brain lands on negatives in spite of so many things I have to be grateful for. It helps me see the insanity of it.
2. I will never forget a simple comment made by the Dali Lama in his book, The Art of Happiness (3). He pointed out that we often compare ourselves to those who have more than us. Why not compare yourself to those who are less fortunate? I use this concept daily as I hear about the extreme suffering of so many people around the world. At the moment there are over 60 million refugees worldwide. I do not have much to complain about.
3. Reading history almost always wakes me right up regarding what I have to be thankful for. One example was a book, The Swerve by Stephen Greenblatt (4). He defines a “swerve” as a world event that changes the course of human history. The story is about the discovery of an Ancient Greek manuscript that was a big factor in ending the Dark Ages. Amongst many insights in this book, he describes the life of the people who lived in the Dark Ages. My worst day ever is infinitely better than their best day. I can write this post without worrying about the Inquisition priest walking through my door and hauling me off to an unthinkable fate. The book made a deep impression on me.
4. I re-committed to the expressive writing at a level that I haven’t done since I first began my journey out of The Abyss in 2002. It is still startling to me how effective this simple exercise is in disconnecting me from my racing thoughts and connecting me with my day. Write and Don’t Stop
5. The tool that helps me during my day is the active meditation. Instead of battling my thoughts I simply place my mind on a sensation for 5-10 seconds and I calm down. Engaging with these negative circuits give them more power. Active Meditation

Your brain is a scanner that cannot be turned off. Don’t think that solving a given problem is going to decrease your anxiety for any length of time. Your mind is going to find another target quickly.

1. Luskin, Fred. Forgive for Good. Harper Collins, New York, NY, 2002.
2. Carson, JW, et al. Forgiveness and chronic low back pain: A preliminary study examining the relationship of forgiveness to pain, anger, and psychological distress. Jrn of Pain (2005); 6:84-91.
3. Dali Lama, HH, and Howard Cutler. The Art of Happiness. Penguin Group, New York, NY, 1998.
4. Greenblatt, Stephen. The Swerve. Norton and Co., New York, NY, 2011.

The post Your Personal Brain Scanner first appeared on Back in Control.

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