Objectives

• Providing yourself with cues of safety is essential to healing. However, your body instinctively gravitates towards being aware of threats.
• Even when life is good, your brain is constantly scanning your surroundings (including your consciousness) for danger. It is your “personal brain scanner.”
• As disruptive as anxiety is, it is your protector and gift of life. You are not going to get rid of it or transform it into a pleasant sensation.
• Efficiently dealing with it daily allows you to nurture joy and live the life you wish.

Abraham Maslow was a prominent psychiatrist who looked at the human condition in terms of the hierarchy of needs.¹ At the base of it were basic physiological needs such as food, air, clothes, water, heat , sleep, sexual intercourse, light, hygiene, shelter, urination, and excretion. Without these basics being met, it is unlikely we can or will pursue the higher levels of needs with the top being self-actualization.

What he didn’t mention was that “not being in pain – mental or physical” is not only a foundational need but it is a driving force for most human behavior. People will do almost anything not to feel anxious and vulnerable. It is bi-directional in that lack of the above-mentioned resources will clearly create anxiety and meeting those needs will help lower it. I again want to acknowledge the depth of suffering that occurs in this scenario, and it is almost impossible to pursue a healing journey under severe adversity.

Stress = threat

However, if these needs are being met, then stress (threat) is not the problem. It is the reaction to it that creates so much chaos within you. Avoiding stress doesn’t work and becomes its own stressor. Remember the most impactful stresses are the ones you cannot control. So, that is why learning how to lower your threat physiology through the different portals is so critical.

The metaphor of a bathroom is relevant because you cannot get rid of anxiety and survive. It is part of everyday life. It is important to develop a “working relationship” with it and let it do its work. So, it is a matter of processing life every day, dealing with the waste, and visiting this room as many times as you need to. If your stress reactions build up without an outlet, you will eventually become ill.²

As you learn to develop this relationship with these emotions as opposed to fighting them, you’ll become more skilled in processing them, and your reactions will become fewer and less intense. There are three aspects of lowering this neurochemical inflammatory reaction.

• Separate your identity from this response. It is what you possess, not who you are! It is also universal and there is no reason to take anxiety personally.
• You can directly lower these hormones and inflammatory markers with tools such as humming, breath work, nasal breathing, and calming sounds.
• By stimulating neuroplastic changes in your nervous system, your automatic reactions are less disruptive, and the real healing comes from the creation of new circuits that are pleasurable and creative. There are infinite possibilities and the metaphor of building your new home is a foundational framework.

Emotional flexibility

One solution to dealing with anxiety is control. It is what this sensation is intended to do – be so unpleasant so as to compel you to solve threats – and it works. You are alive and reading this lesson. However, since mental and physical threats are processed in a similar manner, and humans can’t escape their consciousness, we are all trapped by our thoughts to a greater or lesser degree.³ Most of us instinctively fight disruptive thoughts and feelings, but this only reinforces them.

The other strategy, which is actually fairly effective is mental and emotional rigidity. If you train your mind to focus and become immersed in any number of belief systems, your mind is occupied, and unpleasant thoughts are largely “pushed aside.” The beliefs can take any number of different forms such as religion, politics, strong opinions about morality and people who are different than you. What is problematic is that humans are programmed by their own lives and infinitely unique. None of us see anything exactly the same way – even solid objects. Rigid thinking works quite well for decreasing anxiety for the person, but not for those around him or her. You have lost awareness of the needs of others and pigeon-holed them into your way of thinking.

One definitive solution for anxiety is giving up the need for control. In other words, you must learn that anxiety protects you, and is the gift of life. It is also why you have to separate your personal identity from this reaction and develop a “working relationship” with it. It is never going to be a pleasant sensation, but as you become more “emotionally flexible” you’ll learn to tolerate, even become comfortable with it. It needs to be processed daily, all day long.

Emotional perfectionism is a problem. You monitor your progress, feel like you have” failed” if you dive back into being anxious or angry, and your self-critical voices start talking to you. You are now a victim of these thoughts (and you really are), and you are not going to outrun them. Even if you can for a while, they are relentless and will wear you down.

Recap

Anxiety is a physiological state. Glance though the lessons in Leg 3 of this course. It is challenging to deeply change your concepts of anxiety. Most of us are raised to feel that this is a psychological issue and if you are overwhelmed by it, you are not tough enough. “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

Nothing could be further from the truth. Suppressed anxiety is a disaster, causes damage to the memory center of your brain,⁴ and disrupts every aspect of your life. You are so used to doing it (who taught you otherwise), you may have no idea that this is what you are doing. Being “tough” was at the core of my own descent into The Abyss.

The main focus of The DOC Journey is learning ways to methodically become aware of and process anxiety and anger so you can live a life that reflects who you really are. To have a good life, you have to live a good life. However, this also requires learning how to efficiently separate from and deal with your survival reactions. Being anxious or angry isn’t good or bad. It is life.

 Questions and Considerations

1. Emotional pain hurts. Why would we want to feel that pain? We don’t. However, learning to live with it is essential to healing.
2. Anger effectively covers up feeling vulnerable, which we instinctively dislike. No one EVER wants to give it up, and we can’t. It is another factor in becoming emotionally flexible.
3. It is difficult to understand the necessity of anxiety and anger and also be aware of its impact on you and your life. These emotions preclude awareness and the reason why specific skills are required to break through this catch-22.
4. De-personalize these sensations and develop skills to deal with them. You must let go to move forward.

References

1. Miles Vich. Maslow’s leadership legacy. Journal of Humanistic Psychology (2008); 48: 444–445.
2. Smyth J, et al. Stress and disease: A structural and functional analysis. Social and Personality Psychology Compass (2013); 7:217-227. doi:10.1111/spc.12020
3. Eisenberger NI, et al. An experimental study of shared sensitivity to physical pain and social rejection. Pain (2006); 126:132-138. doi:10.1016/j.pain.2006.06.024.
4. Hulbert JC, et al. Inducing amnesia through systemic suppression. Nature Communications (2015); 7:11003. doi: 10:1038/ncomms11003

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Survival

Humans additionally have consciousness so just thoughts can produce the same neuro-chemical reaction. Secondary needs that become a problem include social interaction, self-esteem, companionship, validation, etc. It does not matter if the thoughts are based on reality. It was my friend, Dr. Fred Lusksin and author of Forgive for Good, (1)who pointed out that your body’s main focus, is to survive, not to have a good time. Therefore the default mode for your brain is negative. This characteristic causes many errors in thinking. As they are usually irrational, there is no solution and no end. The resultant relentless anxiety eventually becomes unbearable. It also worsens with age and repetition.

We assume that solving problems will diminish anxiety. It might be true for that specific situation. But what has become obvious to me is that my brain will quickly begin scanning everything around me for more danger. If there is nothing physical to be concerned about I will experience (create) endless irrational thoughts that are disruptive. In fact when things are quiet these thoughts often become even more intense.

What did I do Wrong?

One recurring example is when someone doesn’t return an email or phone call in a timely manner, I immediately assume that I said or did something that offended him or her. Or maybe he or she just doesn’t care for me anymore. My brain immediately begins spinning. Invariably, I find out that they were out of town or dealing with a difficult situation. The delay had nothing to do with me.

A few weeks ago I sent an email to a good friend of mine to have re-sent out to a group of colleagues. I became upset when it wasn’t posted. Instead of just re-sending the email or asking about what happened, I spent hours obsessing about what I could have done or said that upset him. It turns out that he hadn’t seen it. He happened to run across it while cleaning out his “in box” and really liked it. My hours spent being agitated were a complete waste of time.

There are endless problems created by your personal scanner, which is always on high alert.

The Problems

My patients often became so focused on the situation or person who wronged them that it consumed their life. One study showed holding on to anger around an injury significantly affected the level of pain and decreased emotional well-being. (2) I’ve had many intense conversations around this scenario. They’re convinced that when their lawsuit or claim is resolved they will be happier. That’s simply not true. First of all, most of the time these situations rarely resolve quickly. Your pain/ anger pathways are now deeply imbedded and solving the problem will not reverse those circuits. What if the problem is not solvable? Do you really want to remain miserable? Elephant’s noose

Second, your brain will immediately land on another problem. It always does. Just watch.

Third, one problem might get solved but is that your only one? Life constantly throws us unhittable curve balls. How many of your issues do you need to solve before you are content? What are the odds of every problem being solved to the point where you are now happy? It isn’t going to happen and if it could you would now worry when it was all going to fall apart. The Eye of the Storm

Fourth, if you cannot truly relax on a given day without worrying, when are you going to regenerate – especially if you are not sleeping well? It is critical to relax when you have the opportunity. When do you get to enjoy your life? Enjoy Your Day Today

Possible Solutions

Your personal brain scanner can’t be turned off. You’d die. So what’s the solution? I am not pretending to be an expert on this and these are just some of my observations of approaches that I have found helpful.

1. I think the one most important strategy is awareness. I am noticing how consistently my brain lands on negatives in spite of so many things I have to be grateful for. It helps me see the insanity of it.
2. I will never forget a simple comment made by the Dali Lama in his book, The Art of Happiness (3). He pointed out that we often compare ourselves to those who have more than us. Why not compare yourself to those who are less fortunate? I use this concept daily as I hear about the extreme suffering of so many people around the world. At the moment there are over 60 million refugees worldwide. I do not have much to complain about.
3. Reading history almost always wakes me right up regarding what I have to be thankful for. One example was a book, The Swerve by Stephen Greenblatt (4). He defines a “swerve” as a world event that changes the course of human history. The story is about the discovery of an Ancient Greek manuscript that was a big factor in ending the Dark Ages. Amongst many insights in this book, he describes the life of the people who lived in the Dark Ages. My worst day ever is infinitely better than their best day. I can write this post without worrying about the Inquisition priest walking through my door and hauling me off to an unthinkable fate. The book made a deep impression on me.
4. I re-committed to the expressive writing at a level that I haven’t done since I first began my journey out of The Abyss in 2002. It is still startling to me how effective this simple exercise is in disconnecting me from my racing thoughts and connecting me with my day. Write and Don’t Stop
5. The tool that helps me during my day is the active meditation. Instead of battling my thoughts I simply place my mind on a sensation for 5-10 seconds and I calm down. Engaging with these negative circuits give them more power. Active Meditation

Your brain is a scanner that cannot be turned off. Don’t think that solving a given problem is going to decrease your anxiety for any length of time. Your mind is going to find another target quickly.

1. Luskin, Fred. Forgive for Good. Harper Collins, New York, NY, 2002.
2. Carson, JW, et al. Forgiveness and chronic low back pain: A preliminary study examining the relationship of forgiveness to pain, anger, and psychological distress. Jrn of Pain (2005); 6:84-91.
3. Dali Lama, HH, and Howard Cutler. The Art of Happiness. Penguin Group, New York, NY, 1998.
4. Greenblatt, Stephen. The Swerve. Norton and Co., New York, NY, 2011.

The post Your Personal Brain Scanner first appeared on Back in Control.

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