At some tipping point, this becomes the new trajectory of your life. Life’s challenges continue to come at all of us. As life becomes easier to navigate, your body is exposed to less threat (stress) physiology and more to safety. Safety is where fuel moves into cells, and your body regenerates and heals.

The metaphor for this navigated course is the ski slope. No matter what your skill level, you must get down the hill. If the ski run is above your skill level, you may not be only stressed, it can be terrifying. The goal is become an expert at life skills and learn to feel safe a higher percent of the time. Here are the prerequisites.

• Have a working knowledge of The DOC Journey course.
• Understand the natural resistance to change.
• Review the “circle of life” with the “ring of fire.”
• Begin to connect to your vision of what is possible.
• Your healing emanates from feeling safe and creative.
• Constructing your new home (life) is the final focus of the journey. Enjoy!!

Overview

First of all, congratulations for reaching this level. The key to healing is persistence and you have already shown a willingness to fully engage in learning to create and live the life you want. Before you began this journey, that may not have seemed possible. But to be clear, your journey is not about completing a course or believing in David Hanscom. It is about connecting your own capacity to heal. Healing of any part of the body is nothing short of miraculous, but so is the gift of life.

Many people arrive at this point of their journey and they feel better. So, being back to their baseline, they quit. “I am good enough,” and they move on with their life. I think that it is tragic to stop now. Your creative brain is coming alive and the potential for future learning and growth is unlimited. Why would you want to stop?

There are actually a few reasons why this happens so often.

• Humans are programmed by every second of their lives. Our brains unconsciously memorize everything. Familiar patterns are not noticed since not only are they embedded in our brains, but they are our version of reality. Any new or unusual data catches our attention and stimulates some level of threat physiology. We feel anxious and instinctively resist change. So, maybe you are back to a comfortable baseline state. Why would you wish to continue?
• There is a lot of anxiety with success, if you are used to simply trying to survive. When is the shoe going to drop? A classic example is golf. It is remarkably predictable that when you have shot well for three or four holes that your anxiety levels rise. Of course your muscle tension increases, and suddenly it seems like you don’t which end of the club to hold. The same scenario holds true in any performance arena at home, work, or even relaxing.
• Examples are present in every kind of performance. Maybe you have been promoted and have a higher profile in your sphere of influence. More eyes are on you, and many people might jealous of your success. They may look for any opportunity to cut you down. There is a term for this phenomenon called “Tall Poppy Syndrome.” It is easier to just blend in with the crowd.
• Understand that the shoe will always drop. That is life. If your goal is to be in an endless state of bliss, you’ll fail. Life presents an endless number of daily challenges and at some level of stress, your body will respond with threat physiology. Maybe it will last for an hour or even days. It is what your body is supposed to do – protect you. But you now have choices regarding how long you wish to remain there.
• A different problem arises in that now you have tasted what it is like to be in the green center, and you don’t want to leave. Additionally, when you are triggered and in the red, the contrast is sharp and you may get more frustrated about what is possible compared what you are experiencing in the moment. I call this, “the curse of awareness.” What you want to do is nuture emotional flexibilty, be present with whatever state you are in, and move in the direction of your choice.
• I experienced a common scenario in that I had no idea that there were other possibilities about the way I negotiated my life. All I ever knew was anger and chaos. Although, I attended workshops, read self-help books, and underwent extensive counseling. I did not connect with how angry I was until I was 50 years old. It was an incredibly unpleasant experience and I did not have the tools to deal with it. Healing happens with connection – to yourself and then to those around you. Not wanting to experience unpleasant emotions may be a major reason why people don’t engage in this process or pull up short of really moving forward. One of my friends has often quoted the phrase, “you have to feel to heal.”

The ”circle of life” containing the “ring of fire” is the signature tool of this journey. A version of it was created by Dr. Paul Gilbert, who was the founder of compassion-based therapy. Compassion (love) as defined by Anthony DeMello in his book, The Way to Love, is awareness. Anxiety blocks awareness. But as you nurture awareness, you’ll actually feel more anxiety, and it requires tools to tolerate it. This is a bidirectional interaction. So, this final level is focused on not only learning to nurture joy, but also to better tolerate anxiety.

The metaphor is building and decorating a new house. Each room represents an aspect of your life that must be addressed. Use it daily as a quick mental checklist as you go from room to room in your own home. The “lot” is the green center of the circle of life. With repetition, you’ll create the life you want. “To have a good life, you must live a good life.”

Books to read

Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus was born on the eastern edges of the Roman Empire in A.D. 55, but The Art of Living is still perfectly suited for any contemporary self-help or recovery program.

The healing journey progresses from “reaCtive to Creative”. You must first see where you are at before you can change direction. You can’t heal by focusing on problems. Healing occurs with creativity and moving away from unpleasant neurological circuits. The wisdom of the Stoics is remarkable in that it is as, or more, relevant as it was 2000 years ago. Regaining a healthy life perspective is the definitive solution to decreasing your suffering.

On the slopes

A world class skier can ski anything humanly possible if the conditions are reasonable. I used to think I was a double black diamond skier until I was exposed to US Ski Team skiers who were far above a level than I ever imagined. They not only possess a high level of skill, but they are supremely confident as a result of putting in thousands of hours of practice.

Many years ago a group of us where on the back side of mountain at Alta Utah. It was a gorgeus day with a lot of new soft powder. We were all “expert” skiers. We were standing in a narrow line waiting to head down the hill and my son, who is a US Ski team level mogul skier was on another transverse about 30 feet above us. We wondered what he wanted us to do. What he wanted was fresh untracked powder and he took off and jumped over all of us. It must have been a 40-foot drop and he landed about 50 feet down the hill. There was no hesitation. He kept going until the bottom skiing at a high speed. I realized that his was a reality I was not familiar with.

But consider any performance from art, music, dance, athletics, mechanics, business, and work. Every endeavor can be manifested at the highest level. You might be thinking, “I could never accomplish this level of expertise, and in a given field, you probably won’t. Or maybe you already have. However, life skills are accessible to everyone and anyone who wants to commit the living an excellent life. All that is required is a willingness to continue to learn and practice. The DOC Journey presents a foundational set of concepts and tools and there are endless additonal ways to enhance your journey.

The only “goal” of this course is to allow you to connect to the moment you are in and with awareness can be in any color of the “circle of life” on your terms. You have the choice to remain there or move in any direction.

Why not attain the highest level of expertise in living your life? The focus is on attaining skills and not reaching for perfect, where you beat yourself up for “failing.” It is about just learning to execute what you know regardless of the circumstances. Outcomes are usually beyond our control, but you can up the odds of success.

This level is a jumping off point for living the rest of your life. Let yourself think big and enjoy your day.

The post Be an Expert at Living life first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Be an Expert at Living life appeared first on Back in Control.

• We are trained that if we can solve enough of our problems, we’ll have an “enjoyable life.”
• Life’s challenges never stop, and we may slowly sink into darkness, “The Abyss.”
• We become desperate trying to escape; especially from our RUT’s (Repetitive Unpleasant Thoughts)
• The most effective way to dispel darkness is turning on light.

We are born as blank impressionable slates full of openness, curiosity, playfulness, and eagerness to learn. There are innumerable sources of learning, and we trust those who we perceive as having wisdom to teach us way to live an enjoyable and productive life.  Words and concepts are important but imitating actions are more powerful ways of learning. The possibilities are limitless.

But what often happens? In a protected and nurturing environment, the light may remain bright for many years and sometimes indefinitely. But for many of us, the light becomes progressively dimmer and at some point, we tip into the Abyss of chronic mental and physical pain. The light is extinguished, and it is a dark place without the slightest hope of escape. This is not what any of us planned when our spirits were shining.

A famous quote

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old. 

They grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.

                         Gabriel Garcia Marquez¹

I modified this famous quote based on my personal experiences and observations of anxiety:

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old. 

They grow old because their dreams are crushed by anxiety.

                         Gabriel Garcia Marquez

                          (Modified by Dr. David Hanscom)

Darkness

How quickly does darkness descend when you never felt safe and nurtured? Maybe you never felt the light that exists within you. Even if you had a great start, what about the onslaught of life?

• Unmeetable expectations
• Bullying – peers, coworkers, siblings
• FOMO
• Social media
• Poor diet/ no exercise
• Never-ending to-do list
• Lack of resources – housing, food, education, finances
• Job issues
• Difficult parenting
• Unrelenting Repetitive Unpleasant Thoughts (RUT’s)

The darkness settles in to the point where we can’t see a way out and eventually, we might forget what the light even felt or looked like. Additionally, there is the relentless wind, that also wears you down. Life keeps coming at us, especially the RUT’s.

So, what do most of us do? We are used to problem solving and we either keep working at fixing our lives (getting rid of the darkness) or many of us give up. Nothing seems to be working. Where do we go next and how can we get out of a place that seems to have no definition or limits? It really is an Abyss.

You cannot “fix” darkness”. It is simply absence of light. You also can’t control most of your thoughts (RUT’s) and stresses (the wind).

Darkness disappears with light. A small match is lit, and you must protect the flame from the wind. You may have to keep lighting it many times. Eventually, you are able to protect the flame and allow it to grow. Even when the light is dim, it still penetrates the darkness. As you continue to add fuel, the flame becomes a fire, then a large bonfire that can hardly be contained. The wind will eventually fan the flames and make them stronger.

“The fog rolled in.”

Many years ago, I was discussing chronic pain with a patient who was also a physical therapist. She related that she had an idyllic upbring with her parents and two siblings enjoying each other. Family outings including scenic drives, trips to Coney Island, music, and playing board games. There was a lot of fun and laughter. Then when she was 12, her father lost his job and her life permanently changed. The fun was replaced with verbal abuse, drinking, rages, and hardly even coming home. She described it as “the fog came in,” and life became dark. It never changed. I only saw her a couple of times recall how sad she was. I did not know much about chronic pain at that time and was perplexed how life could change so quickly. I did not understand the physiological nature of anger and that the thinking brain does not work is well. I don’t know what eventually happened to her.

Healing happens by moving forward towards your vision

It isn’t logical for us to spend so much time and energy fixing the dark and not paying attention to the light. But it is the only way that healing occurs. You are the only one who can light the match over and over again, protect the flame, and create a fire that can’t be put out. Knowing the tools to process darkness are necessary and are a separate skill set from connecting and nurturing your light. That is why there is a sequence of healing: 1) connection, 2) confidence, and 3) creativity.

Recap

Why do we feel that focusing and fixing our troubles is going to give us the life that we want? Not only can you escape from The Abyss with light, what about walking outside and soaking in the warmth of the sun?

Your dreams and play are always within you. Connect with and nurture them and allow your body to heal.

Questions and considerations

1. Our biological imperatives are to first survive and then pass our DNA to the next generation. Our unconscious brain evolved to look for trouble and resolve it in order to physically survive.
2. Humans are more complex in that we possess language and must deal with emotional pain, which is processed in a similar manner as physical pain.
3. Instinctively, we are programmed towards problem solving.
4. Although we also develop through play, it often gets buried in the ongoing chaos of life. We also have the human problem of our inability to escape from our unpleasant thoughts.
5. How much of your life is consumed w ith fixing problems versus nurturing joy? Have you created any “space” for joy?
6. If you wish to live a different life, you must create some “space” to nurture creativity and joy. Light will dispel darkness whereas all the fixing in the world will not pull you out of it.

 References

1. Gabriel García Márquez. Cien años de soledad (One Hundred Years of Solitude. 1967. Editorial Sudamericanos, S.A., Buenos Aires.

The post  Quit Fighting Darkness and Turn on the Light first appeared on Back in Control.

The post  Quit Fighting Darkness and Turn on the Light appeared first on Back in Control.

She was a healthy physically active rancher. Her low back pain started in the summer of 2005 after a lifting injury. The pain had become constant and was located throughout most of her back. She was still functioning at a fairly high level, in spite of the pain.

Her prior care

Jean’s care so far had consisted of six visits to physical therapy, and two sets of cortisone injections in her back, none of which had been helpful. She had not been prescribed a ongoing organized treatment plan. On her second visit to a spine surgeon, it was recommended that she undergo a eight-level fusion of her lower back from her 10^ththoracic vertebra to the pelvis. It is a six to eight-hour operation that carries significant risks.

Jean’s x-rays showed that she had a mild curvature of her lower back. Other imaging tests did not reveal any identifiable, structural source of pain. From my perspective as a scoliosis surgeon, I felt her spine was essentially normal for her age.

Instead, I felt that her pain was probably from the muscles and ligaments around the spine. The medical term that we use is myofascial. When an operation geared towards the bones, such a fusion, is done in the presence of mostly soft tissue pain, it rarely works. In addition to the risks, the entire lower back becomes a solid piece of metal and bone. This surgery should only be done if there are no other options. The procedure comes with long-term lifestyle limitations and she was still so active.

At this point, I was perplexed as to why surgery had been recommended when she had done so little rehabilitation. I also didn’t understand why she was continuing to experience such severe ongoing back pain without any obvious cause.

What was missing?

I consulted her spine intake questionnaire to look for clues.

It revealed that she’d had some marital difficulties and had just reconciled with her husband six months earlier. That immediately caught my attention because marital troubles usually indicate significant stress. She then said her job had become much more difficult. Although she worked for the same employer, they had forced her to switch duties without adequate training. She was worried about not only her performance, but also her ability to keep her job – another major problem.

I turned the page. A month before her pain began, her twenty-six-year old son had drowned. I knew that outside stressors played a role in chronic pain, but this factor had never been so powerfully demonstrated. Her case really brought home for me how crucial it was to take a full view of the patient’s life and circumstances, instead of just looking at surgical solutions.

As I sat there stunned, I realized that I needed to do something different. In fact, the whole medical profession needed to do something different. How could a surgeon have recommended a fusion without taking the time to get to know Jean and to hear her circumstances? I have always wondered if she went through with the surgery, but I never heard from her again.

From that moment, some form of structured rehabilitation became my focus with every patient, without exception. I have not taken my eyes off of that vision since that day.

The post My Call to Action first appeared on Back in Control.

The post My Call to Action appeared first on Back in Control.

Chronic mental and physical disease are connected by a common root cause – stress. How and why?

Stress (threat) creates chemical (physiological) changes in your body (fight or flight), which creates mental and physical symptoms. When you are subjected to chronic stress, the ongoing inflammation and increased fuel consumption (metabolism) breaks your body down. Hence, you’ll eventually develop illnesses and disease.

Stress kills

It is well-documented that stress kills. The Holmes-Rahe stress scale was developed in the early 1960’s with points assigned to life events – both positive and negative. If your score was 300 or more, there was an 80% chance of developing a major illness within two years.¹ I have a close friend that I took the test with recently. His score was 463. Guess what? He developed cancer in his spine.

Bruce Lipton is a developmental biologist who stepped out of academic medicine in 1993 because what he was observing in the lab did not conform to the standard thinking in mainstream medicine. He understood that all life is possible because living organisms were able to transform energy into functional forms. Atoms, the building blocks of life and substance consist mostly of space and are powerful energy fields. Biologists embraced the role of quantum physics in biology in 1927, but mainstream medicine has been slow to adapt. His views have not historically been well-received, but it turns out that he was not only right but was decades ahead of his time.

Beliefs and your body

He is the best-selling author of The Biology of Belief. His work is now well-documented regarding the effects that beliefs exert on your body’s physiology. Negative belief systems fire up the fight or flight response and keeps it there. The common link to chronic mental and physical disease is sustained threat physiology and healing happens when you are in safety. Here is a small sampling of some data that supports this perspective.

• Dantzer in 2018² published a review on resilience. He documented the effects of stress on inflammatory molecules called cytokines. There are four factors that lower inflammation.
  • Optimism/ Hope
  • Sense of control
  • Positive outlook/ vision
  • Sense of social connection and community

Notice that when suffering from chronic mental or physical pain that all these factors are compromised – badly.

• Cole in 2007³ documented that chronic stress and social isolation caused the production of aggressive monocytes that he called, “warrior monocytes.” These are white blood cells that attack foreign bodies such as viruses, bacteria, and cancer cells. But these monocytes also attack your own tissues.
• Lisa Feldman-Barrett runs a large neuroscience lab in New England. She has documented that thoughts and consciousness become embedded in our brains as concretely as any object.⁴ So, each person views the world completely differently regarding threats vs safety and body’s coping resources are also infinitely unique. It doesn’t matter if the threat is real or perceived. If your perception of a situation doesn’t match the reality, you’ll have a stress response and your beliefs have to adjust for similar scenarios in the future.
• Note on the Holmes-Rahe stress scale that most of the stresses are not physical. They are real because they are events for which your body has to mobilize resources to deal with them. Unfortunately, perceived stress also causes your body to be activated.
• Consider ACE (Adverse Childhood Events) scores. The score is a rough measure of childhood trauma and higher scores cause inflammatory markers to remain elevated for decades.⁵ When you are raised in an abusive environment, you are programmed to see much of the world as dangerous, and that doesn’t change unless you thoughtfully reprogram your responses.
• Systemic chronic inflammation (SCI) is a state of inflammation that cannot be measured by blood tests.⁶ The problem arises from the breakdown of small structures in each cell called mitochondria. They are the engines whose chemical reactions create the energy of life. The “fuel” leaks outside the cell and is highly inflammatory. Over 50% of all deaths and diseases are caused by SCI. Chronic stress is one of the drivers.
• Pain reprocessing therapy (PRT) is a process where patients’ fears and beliefs about their pain are acknowledged and connected to the actual experience. Patients are reassured that the nature of the pain or problem isn’t dangerous, and then gently taken through a process of reassurance while performing actions that would normally cause pain. By feeling safe while engaging in activities they considered risky, they are able to calm down, feel safe, and the pain decreases or resolves most of the time.⁷ Again, the structure of their body hasn’t changed, it is their beliefs about it.

Why did Bruce and David team up?

It is clear that anxiety and anger are hard-wired automatic reactions that we have not control over. Bruce has pointed out that you might as well have a conversation with the hard drive of your computer. But he has pointed out for a while that you can reprogram them.

I have been on this course of action for a while but have not stated it as clearly as Bruce. I have seen so many “hopeless” patients heal that I am convinced that you can reprogram your brain around almost anything. Our brains are incredibly adaptable.⁸

Getting there

The DOC Journey course and app take you through a sequence that first teaches tools to calm down your nervous system, helps understand the principles of healing chronic disease, presents the problem of anxiety being the pain, explores awareness, teaches anger processing strategies, emphasizes repetition, and then helps you visualize and act on building your future.

The final answer to chronic mental and physical pain is shifting into joy, and where Bruce presents a wonderful picture of what that looks like.⁸ A significant aspect is programming in this outlook. We both agree that positive thinking can’t and doesn’t work. The DOC Journey course and app present practical strategies to achieve the state of consciousness that allows us to not only heal but thrive. Once you flip your beliefs to the future you want, your brain and life will follow, and it will become your reality.

Bruce and I created this four-part video series along with a lesson plan that presents an overview of the healing journey as well as suggestions how to start. We are excited about them in that we did not realize how close we were in our thinking until we made these videos. We hope you enjoy them and welcome to your new life.

References

1. Holmes TH, Rahe RH. The Social Readjustment Rating Scale.J Psychosom Res(1967); 11:213–8. doi:1016/0022-3999(67)90010-4
2. Dantzer R, et al. Resilience and immunity. Brain, Behavior, and Immunity (2018); 74:2842. https://doi.orgl/10/1016/j.bbi.2018.08.010
3. Cole SW, et al. Social Regulation of gene expression in human leukocytes. Genome Biology (2007); 8:R189. doi: 10.1186/gb-2007-8-9-r189

4. Feldman Barrett, Lisa. How Emotions are Made. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, New York, NY, 2017.
5. Dube, SR, et al. Cumulative childhood stress and autoimmune diseases in adults. Psychosomatic Medicine (2009); 7:243-250.
6. Furman D, et al. Chronic Inflammation in the etiology of diseases across the life span. Nature Medicine (2019); 25:1822-1832.
7. Ashar YK, et al. Effect of pain reprocessing therapy vs placebo and usual care for patients with chronic back pain. JAMA Psychiatry (2021); Published online 9/29/2021.
8. Lipton, Bruce. The Biology of Belief. Hay House, Los Angeles, CA, 2016.

The post Connecting the past and present to the future – Bruce Lipton and David Hanscom first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Connecting the past and present to the future – Bruce Lipton and David Hanscom appeared first on Back in Control.

• Your brain is incredibly neuroplastic and can change quickly in whatever direction you choose.
• We automatically know how to feel pain. What about feeling pleasure? It gets buried in the stresses of life.
• Play and social connection are inherent in all of us and using feel and visualization to connect with it will create a rapid shift.
• Enjoying life in so many dimensions is a unique human trait, and we can thrive if it is nurtured.

When you are experiencing relentless pain, life becomes heavy. You are just trying to keep your head above water from dealing with stress. Your life devolves into surviving in addition to carrying a pain burden. You may have forgotten what it’s like to live your life with deep joy and excitement. We have suggested that creating a positive vision for your life and pursuing it  shifts your brain onto more pleasant circuits. Another dimension of process is connecting to feelings of freedom and pleasure from your past. It may initially take some effort to find them, but they are there. I would suggest an ongoing process that I have personally found helpful.

Connecting

Find a quiet time and place where you can just think and possibly go into a meditative state. Think back to an event in your life when you felt carefree and joyous. It could any number of situations at any point in time. Visually take yourself back there, remembering as many details as you can. Possibilities include:

• Dreams/ goals
• The weather/ temperature
• The conversations
• Attitudes
• Friends/ who you were with
• The activities
• Specific feelings and emotions
• What music, movies, sports, and art did you enjoy during this period?
• Are there songs and artists that you were particularly connected to?

Face and connect with your current reality

Spend as much time as you can with this exercise and repeat it often. Once you have really internalized some of these joyous experiences then sit down and fully experience your present life – pain and all. What happened to your sense of play and excitement?

• Compare it visually and emotionally to one of the times mentioned above.
• Note the gap.
• Make a commitment to get joy back and hold onto it. It requires repetition to change your brain.
• When you fall back into The Abyss (it happens frequently), again note the difference compared to your great moments.
• Don’t worry about making a “plan.” This is an exercise of feeling and waking up parts of your nervous system that have been dormant.

Pain or pleasure?

Believe it or not, you have a choice. You remember that one of the cardinal rules of healing is not sharing your mental or physical pain with others, especially with your family. It is completely understandable why you would want to, but where is your brain developing? I just talked to a gentleman who stated that over 90% of his waking hours are spent in either complaining about his pain and medical care or searching for a solution. Almost everyone in chronic pain does this, including me – for 15 years. I definitely had forgotten what feeling good felt like.

This exercise represents the opposite experience. As you connect with the best part of your brain, your body chemistry is dramatically altered into a safety profile where your body can rest, regenerate, and heal. We also know that optimism and a positive attitude directly lower inflammation in your body, and therefore the pain.¹This is not a light psychological game. It is a powerful way to alter your body’s chemistry.

A movie?

Watching a movie connected with a past pleasurable experience is also effective in waking up your brain. It is slightly different than just watching a funny movie to distract yourself. One movie that caught me off guard many years ago was “Happy Gilmore.” I had just flown in from Seattle to Sun Valley and I was exhausted. I was laying on the floor next to my son, who was about 15 at the time. Somehow, it seemed like one of the most entertaining movies I had ever seen. I don’t recall ever laughing so hard for so long. It connected me to a moment in time that I won’t forget. I have watched it at least 20 more times over the years, and it still lightens my mood. For each person, it will be a unique movie, song, or event.

Interestingly, for those of you who have seen it, there is a section where Adam Sandler goes to his “happy place” when he is stressed. The movie is simply silly, but this part happens to be right on with regards to using visualization to pull yourself out of a hole.

Visualization

It is well-known that performers do repeated visualizations before individual events, whether it is in music, sports, performing arts, or even surgery. Circuits are being burned into your brain that allow you to perform without overthinking. How else could an ice skater, concert pianist, or mogul skier perform such feats so quickly. In a book that I have recommended to my patients for years, The Talent Code,² the author points out that some teams have their tennis players swing a racket without a ball for three months. Why not apply these same tools to making pleasure your default mode?

Stories from the Mountains: Connecting to the Intelligence of the Heart 

Recap

The goal of this exercise to wake up dormant parts of your brain. Play and pleasure become buried by pain and survival. It is different than creating a vision or a business plan. You are reconnecting to the powerful emotional part of your brain. You can nurture it and watch it “wake up.” Feeling these sensations and experiencing these memories is key. Remember, reconnect, and “wake the fun up.”

Questions and considerations

1. Consider how the quality of your life has been taken away by being in chronic pain. No one warned you about this possibility when you were in high school.
2. Take a moment to remember a time when you were excited about the future and what you might experience and accomplish.
3. This exercise is a process to refuel feelings of enjoyment that have been buried, but not gone. Remember, pain circuits are permanent, but so are pleasurable ones.
4. As you nurture the more enjoyable aspects of your brain, you’ll use the pain areas less and they will atrophy. By trying to “fix” your pain, you’ll reinforce them.
5. Healing occurs as you become proficient at processing stress/ pain, but you also have to move into the part of your brain that involves play.
6. Anxiety is a threat physiological state of flight or fight, and play is a safety physiological state of rest and regenerate. Where would you like to spend your time?

References

1. Dantzer R, et al. Resilience and immunity. Brain, Behavior, and Immunity (2018); 74:28-42. doi.org/10.1016.j.bbi.2018.08.010
2. Coyle Dan. The Talent Code. Random House, New York, NY, 2009.

The post Feel the Life You Want  first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Feel the Life You Want  appeared first on Back in Control.

• Chronic mental and physical pain is a complex problem that requires a systematic approach to solve.
• How can you address the issues relevant to you without and organized approach?
• Reprogramming your brain requires repetition but not in a random manner.
• It is much more efficient to solve chronic pain with an organized approach.
• Being organized is a learned skill set, not an inherent personal trait.

I had always thought that being organized was an inherent skill that people either did or did not possess. It was clear to me that I was not an organized person. During my college and medical training, it was such a challenge to keep on top of my “to do” list, that I did not need much more structure.

When I began my practice, the structure of rigorous training disappeared, and I realized I needed to learn organizational skills to deliver high-quality medical care. I started with a book, The Organized Executive,¹ and I learned that getting organized is an easily mastered skill.

I read additional books and took classes to deepen these skills.  There are many ways to add depth to it. As you learn tools to solve your pain, it is critical to implement them daily and also to continue to learn. It is hard to step back into the life you want to create without an organizational system. I would suggest the following steps.

• Pick an organizational system you feel you would like to learn. Take the time to learn it. Learn and practice the skills required to take advantage of it. Here are a few suggestions:
  • David Allen’s seminars and book, Getting Things Done (GTD)²
  • The Organized Executive¹ by Stephanie Winston
  • Franklin Coveyorganizational systems³
  • There are many others
• Decide whether you want to implement it on paper or use a computerized system.
• Use it and don’t let yourself off the hook.

Stimulating meaningful neuroplastic changes in your brain requires repetition. But it requires specific focused ones. It has been demonstrated that random repetitions that approximate what you are trying to learn is actually counterproductive.⁴ Getting organized, in addition to allowing you to implement effective interventions, allows you to control your schedule (life), which will also lower your anxiety (which is the pain).

Other options and considerations

Maybe the idea getting super organized doesn’t resonate with you. There are many successful people who have made it easier for themselves. An option is to carry a blank notebook and take notes as you go. It has ideas, issues, to do items, etc. The bottom line is that you can quickly scan it and keep track of what is going on.

A day planner is also an option. There are many formats, and you can plan as big or small as you would like to.

I happen to gravitate towards David Allen’s approach where he suggests over two to three full days, take every item in your personal and professional life, and get it into one place. If the “to do” item takes less than two minutes to complete, simply get it done immediately. Then he has many suggestions of how to arrange them. A core concept is that each and every project boils down to, “the one next step.” It allows you to simultaneously engage in multiple different arenas. Many times, excellent projects never get started because they seem so big.

One common theme is writing down your vision in general terms. There are categories of being doable and getting them started and others are just dreams. Write them all down regularly. All projects begin with a dream. One of my most impressive mentors challenged me that once you have written them down, the next question is, “am I thinking big enough?”

For example, with regards to your pain, don’t just try to get better. Do it. Pursue learning the tools to heal and practice them – with a vengeance. How long do you want to continue to suffer? What else is more important to your quality of life than your health. You have heard me repeatedly say that “you can’t fix yourself.” That is still true. However, you can gain many skills to better process adversity, spend less time in a defensive survival state, and allow your body to heal.

There is the issue of being computer based versus using paper. That is a matter of preference Many people, including me, have not seen a big advantage of being computer based (but I am old….).

Recap

My friend and forward-thinking cell biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, has succinctly pointed out the huge mismatch between the unconscious brain and conscious brain. The unconscious brain is hundreds of thousands more powerful than the conscious brain. Over 95% of our actions are hard-wired and automatic and beyond our conscious control. We don’t have direct access to them, so what can you do? You can use your conscious brain to reprogram them from automatic survival reactions to more pleasant ones. That requires ongoing repetition. It also has to be focused.

Getting organized is critical because there are so many aspects to both your life and pain, and they all need to be addressed. Although you can improve without being organized, you can move forward more quickly with a plan. It also decreases your stress, which is anti-inflammatory, and decreases your pain – mental and physical.

If you step back and look at the big picture, consider that we have a choice of running our lives in an endless crisis management mode or methodically taking charge. Getting organized is not difficult and is the better alternative. Commit to getting better and learning an organizational system will help you honor your commitment to you.

Questions and considerations

1. It may be different now, but I was not taught any organizational skills at any point in my schooling or medical training. Were you?
2. I watched people that were organized accomplish a lot of excellent things, but I assumed that this was an inherent trait. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
3. Organizational skills are a learned skill set with many ways to attain it. Whatever one you connect with is going to help.
4. You don’t have to become incredibly organized to experience major benefits.
5. Being organized will give you control over your life and decisions. We know that a sense of control is anti-inflammatory.⁵
6. Chronic pain is a complex problem, and similar to fighting a forest fire, every aspect of it must be addressed. Being organized greatly increases your odds of success.

References

1. Winston, Stephanie. The Organized Executive. Norton and Co. New York, NY, 1994.
2. Allen, David. Getting Things Done. Putnam Books. New York, NY, 2015.
3. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Anniversary edition. 2020.
4. Coyle, Daniel. The Talent Code. Random House, New York, NY, 2009.
5. Dantzer R, et al. Resilience and Immunity. Brain Behav Immun (2018); 74:28-42.

The post Get Organized – Chronic Pain is Complex first appeared on Back in Control.

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• It is easy to become focused on problems to the point where you forget what you really want out of life.
• Most of us complain about problems – our own, other’s, society’s,, and the those of the world.
• But what do you want? What is the vision of your life? How do you want to achieve it? What is your time frame?
• Or are you so used to complaining, that you have lost sight of all of this?
• Unfortunately, this mind set fires up your immune system, sensitizes your nervous system, and physically increases your mental and physical pain.

One of the most important aspects of healing is our life outlook. Realistic and positive goal-setting is a core aspect of stimulating constructive neuroplasticity. Your brain will develop wherever you place your attention. It is up to you to decide what you want your life to look like, what you want in it, and then pursue those dreams. Otherwise, you are still focused on the problem, not the solution.

I asked each patient exactly why they were seeing me and what they wanted. Of course, the answer was usually, “I want to get rid of my pain.” It is an understandable request, but it doesn’t work. One of the paradoxes of healing is that you can’t fix yourself. The solution lies in moving away from neurological pain circuits and into the life you desire.

It is critical to connect with your personal life vision, regardless of the level of your pain and suffering. How else will you be able to move forward?

“It’s always something”

There are always significant obstacles to achieving what you would like. When you are young, it is lack of knowledge and resources. Then you are deeply enmeshed in your education and training. You may have started a new family. Finances frequently require “giving up your dreams” in order to just make ends meet. Life keeps coming at us and our hopes become ever more buried. The added burden of physical and mental pain further compounds the suffering.

If you think about the big picture, we all have a lot of dreams, but we seldom execute to attain even a fraction of them. What happened?

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old.                                        

They grow old because they stop pursuing their dreams.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I agree with this quote except I have a different take on it. People grow old because their dreams are crushed by anxiety.

A vision?

We are so programmed to survive that we don’t understand the importance of creating a vision and then following through on it. And where would most of us have learned this skill? It would have been helpful to have been taught this early in our educational experience. Since we are not able to effectively process our stresses, we are trapped, anxious, and angry. It might even seem normal – except that we eventually may get crushed by it all. Positive thinking won’t break you out of this powerful cycle.

It is important to first free yourself from anxiety by developing a “working relationship” with it. It is necessary for survival and a gift. It is learned set of skills. Then you can move forward, and your creativity can emerge. But this is still not enough. What is your vision? What brings you joy? What do you really want out of your life?

Assume that your life is a “business” and that there are certain short and long-term goals you would like to achieve.  As with any business start-up, the chances of success are low without a written plan – the more detailed the better.  Outside input and discussions with involved parties adds important dimensions. Creating a personal business plan is a step that will help you achieve your goals.

Some starting questions

Where am I now?

Where do I want to go?

How am I going to get there?

Dare yourself to dream again and be realistic about what is possible. Then do it.

Where am I now?

Don’t pull any punches with this one. If you are engaged with this course, chances are that your quality of life has been crushed. Get every aspect of your misery out on paper, then organize it into categories, and don’t tear this up. Then redo it and get more focused. You have to understand the magnitude of the problem as well as the specifics before you can solve it. Also remember that the healing journey is rooted in connecting to you and your body’s capacity to heal. What is inside of you, being trapped in pain, is a lot of negativity. You must connect with it and stay connected with it. Hope comes from learning to tools to navigate out of this mess and not from positive thinking. Embracing your skepticism is the starting point.

People often respond with the idea that they can’t move forward because they are in pain. That is true, and why the early part of the healing journey is focused on ways to break loose to move forward with or without the pain. You cannot “fix” your pain. The solution lies in moving away from it and into more functional and pleasurable neurological circuits.

Break your misery into its components. There is the mental and physical pain. What are activities that you can no longer do? How is the medical system not meeting your needs? What is the effect of your pain on your relationships and work? How much are you enjoying sitting around the house and being at the mercy of disability system? Is this the way you want to live the rest of your life?

Where do I want to go?

This step is more difficult than the first one. You may be so consumed by your pain, that all possibilities seem to be gone. But go big! This is just an exercise that you’ll eventually bring to life. It isn’t possible to jump from chronic pain to the life that you want. But on the other hand, there is no chance of attaining the life you desire without having an idea what that looks like.

Take pain out of the picture. Getting rid of your pain cannot be one of the goals. Life is unpredictable. Pain comes at you in many unpredictable ways. You’ll develop skills to process adversity more effectively, but it will always be a part of your life. If you choose to remain upset by life’s challenges, your body will remain inflamed, and you’ll continue to suffer. Look at obstacles as opportunities to practice your skills and move forward. This is not positive thinking; it is a positive vision.

Be specific and apply your vision to all aspects of your life.

How am I going to get there?

No vision will be accomplished without a plan. Again, look at the various parts of your life and what would you like to achieve in each arena regardless of the pain? Every plan needs to be executed and there are always obstacles. Part of the “how” is surmounting them.

You now have to pull mental and physical pain back into the picture as one of the obstacles. It is there, your life is being adversely affected, and what steps are you going to take to break free from it? Each person is unique and will find their own way. Even though you must move forward in spite of your pain, maximizing your treatment is a necessary part of your plan.

This is the place where you look at pain and decide on your relationship to it? If you choose to remain a victim of it (and you are), you are stuck. If it just another obstacle to be dealt with, you are on a strong healing path.

Recap

As you stimulate your brain to change (neuroplasticity), you can direct your brain to create and move into enjoyable circuits. Similar to learning a new language, this just doesn’t happen by continually trying to fix your problems. You have to practice living a more enjoyable life in order to have a more enjoyable life.

We all know how to complain. Who doesn’t? Unfortunately, the biggest obstacle to healing is that many people do not want to give up the power of pain, in spite of their misery. It took me many years to see this, and it is sad.

What do you actually want? Do you want to hold on or move forward? You can’t do both. Once you attain clarity and create a plan, you have a high chance of achieving it and thriving. A suggested template to create your personal business plan is part of this leg of The DOC Journey.

Questions and considerations

1. Have you considered that you have been suffering for so long that it seems normal to you? This is especially true if you were raised in an abusive home situation.
2. Surviving and fixing is our default mode. It is instinctual and powerful. Why would we even consider other options?
3. Anxiety and anger are powerful and dealing with these emotions dictates much of our behavior. It is why you must simultaneously learn tools to process and neutralize them in order to move into your vision.
4. We all know what we don’t like and have no trouble sharing our complaints. But what do you want?

The post Connect with the Life You Want first appeared on Back in Control.

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One of the most difficult concepts to operationalize in healing from chronic pain is that you cannot fix it. Your attention is on the problem, not the solution. Since your brain is constantly changing structure, you’re reinforcing the pain circuits. Solving chronic pain requires that you move towards your vision and actively pursue it. Paradoxically, your pain will be left behind and you can create whatever life you would like.

Somehow, we have big dreams when we are young without resources to attain them, and then when we are older and may have the means to pursue these visions, we don’t. We get stuck in life and all of its trauma. People often dream of retirement and then don’t what to do with themselves. He has an unusual and inspiring approach.

Maurice L. Monette holds a doctorate in Adult Education from Columbia University. He directed and taught in graduate programs for adult learners at Loyola and John F. Kennedy universities. Monette is now an artist and writer and lives in Oakland, California.

Play 20*

Maurice L. Monette

At 68, I asked myself, “Why not play 20?”

The idea to “play 20” hit me when I was trying to learn something new and felt particularly frustrated. I reflected on the fact that many 20-year-olds become able to identify themselves as professionals of some sort by the time they reach 25.  Julia is suddenly an engineer. David has become a nurse. So, with all my experience at 68, why can’t I make myself the artist or writer I’ve actually dreamed of being? Why can’t I begin to identify myself as an artist or writer and become a respectable one within five years?

Why? Because I’m too old. I can’t learn new tricks. I am a senior. My mind isn’t what it used to be. I have pain. I’m not feeling well enough. I shouldn’t need to learn more. I already have it all together. Besides, why risk looking like a fool? I just can’t do it!

A Writer

Those objections aside, the inspiration to “play 20” moved me to try creative writing. I joined a writing group led by a writing coach and I began writing stories. After composing about 100 one or two-page stories in a year’s time, I realized I had the makings of a personal memoir. A year later, I published 80 of those stories as a book. Within two years I had become the creative writer I had dreamed of being. People I didn’t know would meet me on the street and say “you’re the writer, aren’t you?” At first, I hesitated, being accustomed to identifying myself as the leadership coach and university professor that I had been for most of my life. But yes! I write every day – that makes me a writer!

A Painter

Painting interested me too. A local artist taught me the basics of painting with acrylics. That made me aware that to paint well I needed to learn the basics of drawing. I taught myself with drawing lessons on the Internet. Within a year, people were admiring (and even buying) my art. I had become an artist!

For me, to “play 20” is about courageously taking on new learning despite the usual deprecating self-talk that paralyzes me as an older adult. “Play 20” is about taking on the beginner’s mind and practicing the behavior of an ambitious 20-year-old learner:

• Pursue new interests and curiosities
• Recognize my ignorance and naivety and accept it as an opportunity to learn
• Connect with teachers and other learners
• Utilize the internet for classes and other resources
• Recognize the need for feedback and seek it non-defensively
• Maintain a can-do attitude.

Inspired

Practicing these behaviors as an elder was not easy for me, but being an elder had many advantages. For instance, I was drawing not because I had to, but because I was inspired to create beautiful art.  I completed lessons on the Internet without having to pass a test or worry about a grade. I didn’t even have to be ashamed, because I easily accepted that I had never drawn and knew nothing about drawing. I simply had to accept my ignorance and open myself to an exciting venture. I didn’t have to prove myself like I did when I was 20. Except once when a prospective art instructor asked to see my drawing samples. At that moment, I did have to demonstrate my talent to him. But not to worry. I was a volunteer learner and I knew I could find another instructor if need be. My only concern was to find the right instructor for the particular next steps I needed to take. I wasn’t studying for a degree or under pressure to get my next job. I just wanted to become an artist with skill.

Tempering ego and assuming the beginner’s mind continue to benefit me in many ways.  Perhaps the Spanish word that is sometimes used for “retirement” says it all: jubilación, “jubilation” in English.  I am jubilado not only because I am retired but also because I can take joy in new learning that brings me new skills, insight, beauty, growth, new relationships, and new identities.

So, why should becoming a writer or artist (or whatever I want to become) be any more impossible now than at 20? Why not “Play 20”?

* Adapted text excerpted from Play 20: A Collection of Essays and Drawings by Maurice L. Monette posted on his memoir blog, justplay20.com. Each of the 20 essays in the Play 20 collection describes a joy or challenge of his own Play 20 journey, provides samples of his art, and includes lessons he learned about learning as an older adult. With Play 20, Monette offers to one of the most vulnerable populations impacted by COVID-19, the home-bound, and seniors in our community, a way to look ahead, to learn, to recreate, and to Play 20.

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Then you add partners (your children) who have a much deeper relationship with the business of being a family. They are completely dependent on the family unit as a base of operations, for patterning for their emotional makeup, developing coping strategies, and learning most of their life relationship skills. They need a safe and nurturing environment to develop a strong identity and thrive.

Your family as a business

A successful enterprise generally has an idea of its purpose and it is often elucidated in a business plan. It begins with a vision and mission statement. It starts with assessing where you are, where do you want to go, and how are you going to get there? Without a least a simple description of these steps, you will remain in a reactive mode and focusing more on surviving day to day. You can do it, but is the life you have the life that you want?

There has to be some structure and delineation responsibilities and tasks. One can’t happen that well without the other. So, learning organizational and execution skills is important.

Then there are the finances, which is well-known to be the most common reason for family conflict. The battles will be more intense without clear data and a sense of how to manage money as a family unit. Who can spend what with what constraints?

Finally, why are you a family and what is your vision of enjoying life? Has your family been under so much stress that you have forgotten the reason you are together in the first place?

Some starting suggestions

There are an endless number of ways this can all play out but the most important step is just doing it. Here are a few suggestions.

• Create a mission statement
  • Make it as detailed as you are comfortable with.
  • Create protected time in a retreat atmosphere without any digital devices or outside interferences.
  • Write down and create your document quickly.
  • Put it in a spot that is easily seen and refer to it frequently.
• Hold regular family meetings with guidelines and an agenda.
  • Have a defined start and stop time.
  • No fighting (Different than a direct discussion).
  • Frequency
    • Weekly short ones at a regular time
    • Quarterly evening meetings to stay connected with the mission statement
    • Annual retreat to update the vision and mission statement.
  • Look up resources to create a more detailed family planning process.
    • Here is one great set of suggestions from a businessman written in the Wall Street Journal.

How can I do this when I am in pain?

I am extremely aware of the obstacles that are present when a family member is in chronic pain. As we worked with many families over the years, it became apparent how destructive chronic pain was to the whole family. Often, it bordered on complete chaos, just trying to get through the day. You may think that these suggestions are ridiculous in light of your suffering. And BTW, they are. That is why the rest of the healing process must be learned well enough to begin to calm down your nervous system. The essence of healing chronic pain is feeling safe, which means you are able to optimize your body’s chemical profile from stress hormones to relaxation ones. You will be able to think more clearly and begin to consider creating a functional family unit.

However, structure is also a powerful antidote for anxiety. There is a strong bi-directional effect, in that a stable family unit aids in aiding your healing. Even a discussion about how this might look in the midst of the disruption caused by your pain can begin to break up the cycle. Just the one rule of NEVER discussing your pain with anyone, especially your family members causes a shift in the energy of the home. Holding family meetings, even if they are disorganized will add to the process. Making a family decision to, “Be nice” is a major step, even if you frequently fail.

You may still be thinking that none this makes any sense and I must not have any idea of what chronic pain does to a family. Let me give you a couple of insights that represent the tip of the iceberg.

I do know family chaos

My father was a physician who simply was never home. My mother was emotionally unstable and had four children in five years, which put her right over the edge. She suffered from chronic pain and would find ways to get a hold of opioids and benzos. She was a hoarder and would sit in her room most of the day trying to clean it. My father would frequently come home at nine o’clock at night and have to wash piles of dirty dishes. Whenever they sat down to pay bills, there was at least a two-hour screaming match. There was no sense of direction and there was also no way to make my mother happy. We kept moving from city to city and I lived in 12 different houses by the time I was 16 years old. My mother would focus on the negatives of a given situation and her endless complaining was a significant factor in causing us to move so often.

This lack of structure and stability did have a severe impact on me and most of my life efforts were focused on running from all of this chaos. I did escape with one of the strategies being that of an overachiever. It worked until it didn’t. I ran out of fuel and crashed at age 37. I was on the same pathway as my family; reacting and surviving instead of pursuing a vision. I spent the next 15 years in severe chronic pain.

If you don’t make a decision to take control of your life and be in charge of your family, who will? Where is the endpoint? Creating and executing a plan for you and then for your family will be part of being able to calm down your turbo-charged nervous system. Continuing to wander without direction will not. You may not feel like you can or want to take this step of creating structure for your family. Just do it. It will have a remarkable healing effect on everyone.

You started out like this.

What does it all look like now?

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