A chaotic, even abusive upbringing predicts a long and harsh life. There are many chronic mental and physical health issues that occur that shorten lifespan and also markedly compromise quality of life. Raised in this environment, a child cannot reach his or her full potential when so much energy is consumed by trying to survive. Consider a young plant in rich soil with plenty of sunlight and water. Compare it to the same plant in poor soil, limited sunlight, little water. It may even look a different species.

Feeling unsafe

When we don’t feel safe, we’ll do whatever we can to achieve it. Feeling unsafe drives many, if not most destructive behaviors. Feel trapped causes us to react aggressively to solve the situation. The physiological response is called anger, which represents the body’s powerful last-ditch effort to regain control.

Since the most stressful problems are ones we can’t solve, sustained anger (threat physiology) turns into rage, destructive behaviors, and chronic illnesses as the body breaks down. Consider how many life situations are unsolvable. One of the deadliest and universal problems is feeling trapped by our thoughts.

We cannot escape our thoughts. Suppressing unpleasant thoughts fires up the threat response even more than experiencing them. Suppression causes the hippocampus (memory center) of the brain to shrink¹ and increases craving for opioids.²  Distracting ourselves with experiences, pursuing pleasure, adventures, and achievements also fires up the immune system.³

So how do we behave?

ADDICTIONS

Addictions create a sense of safety while engaged in the activity, but obviously are not long-term solutions. The reason addictions are so destructive is they temporarily mask mental and physical pain, and pursuing relief is compelling.

POWER

A deadly outcome of feeling chronically unsafe is the relentless pursuit of power in order to gain more control. It can’t and doesn’t work, but few of us are taught alternatives. The manifestations are almost infinite and infiltrate every domain of our lives and relationships with others. People closest to us are the most affected. No one wants to be controlled, yet trying to control others is almost universal. Anger is generated in those being controlled and also in those exerting control. There is never enough to assuage the unconscious brain. Unfortunately, anger is intentionally destructive, as it is your body’s last-ditch effort to survive emotionally or physically.

The data is deep, beginning in the schoolyard. We try to avoid anxiety, or – if we already have it – we try to get rid of it. Nothing enhances our feeling of control more than by gaining power in some way. This need is expressed in our interactions with each other; in fact, it dictates much of human relations.

Every child has significantly increased anxiety when they leave home to begin school, regardless of their family situation. They want to be accepted but there is also the greater need to diminish their fear. The need to get rid of fear and gain power is played out in forming cliques, excluding others, and overt bullying.

Researchers did a study of students who have been bullied versus the bullies to see if there was any difference in their physiological makeup. ⁴ They looked at the levels of a substance called C-reactive protein (CRP), which is elevated in the presence of inflammation; it’s often drawn to determine the presence of a hidden infection. Chronically elevated levels also indicate a stressed and overactive immune system. It is not desirable to have an elevated CRP.

The study revealed that children who had been bullied had significantly elevated levels of CRP compared to those who had not been bullied. Being bullied as your introduction to the real world is not a great start. What I find even more disturbing is that the levels of CRP in bullies was lower than the norm. As it turns out, there is both a social and physiological reward for possessing more power. How all of this plays out in adulthood is not subtle. Why would you want to give up power and control? Especially when feeling the pain of anxiety is the other option.

Every child has a strong need to be accepted, yet what should we make of the fact that it gives him or her more power (and self-esteem) to reject someone else? This is an endless loop, the root cause of which is the solvable problem of anxiety.

SELF-ESTEEM

The other as futile effort to counteract these deeply upleasant survival sensations is to pursue more self-esteem. This is problematic for seversal reasons. First, it is a gross mismatch of your unconsious brain overpowering your conscious brain by about a million to one. Anxiety and anger are hardwired automatic survival reactions over which we have absolutely no control.

Second, the unconscious brain never stops for a millisecond and is always on the lookout for danger. It is why we evolved and stay alive. The conscious brain’s attention is not sustainable and we quickly develop cognitive fatigue trying to stay happy. We also become physically tired as 20 to 25% of your entire body’s energy is used to run your brain.

Third, we are programmed by everyone around us about who we should be or not be. These voices in our heads become as concrete as any object and we act on them. Unfortunately, the “stories” in our heads are essentially all cognitive distortions. Self-esteem represents a huge distortion of labeling. We expend a tremendous amount of energy building up our ego, and then spend endless efforts defending it. The relentless pursuit of self-esteem disconnects us from the reality immediately in front of us. In other words, you lose awareness of other’s needs and relationships are compromised. Look at the human experience of how terribly we treat each other as individuals and societies. We have the resources to create a planet that could thrive yet we are at the mercy of our personal and societal “stories.”

What can you do?

Learn vulnerability. Being vulnerable is at the core of meaningful human relationships, but there is no reward in nature for being physically vulnerable.  Since emotional pain is processed in similar regions of the brain as physical pain, there are penalties for being emotionally vulnerable. Language creates a massive problem causing emotional pain that is much more complex than in other mammals. Anger, as unpleasant as it is, is powerful, addicting, and masks being vulnerable. Anger creates a sense of emotional safety, but no one around you feels safe. How do you learn to be vulnerable when you are used to dealing with a lot of anger?

DYNAMIC HEALING

Needing to pursue the above-mentioned destructive behaviors drops as you address the root cause of sustained threat physiology. You cannot control the survival reactions but there are numerous ways to regulate your physiology. When your body is bathed in safety physiology, you feel safe, connected, and incredibly relaxed. We use the term, “dynamic healing”, which addresses factors affecting your physiology.

• Input – dealing with life’s challenges in a manner that less impact on your nervous system.
• State of the nervous system – calm or hyperactive
• Output or the physiology – can be directly regulated from threat to safety.

The details of the Dynamic Healing model are beyond the scope of this discussion. The focus is on you and learning skills in each category to create “cues of safety”, and not on fixing or solving your pain. It is a healing process, and not “self-help”.

RUTs (repetitive unpleasant thoughts)

Regarding the onslaught of unpleasant thoughts, consider the metaphor of a hornet’s nest, with the nest being your brain, and the hornets your thoughts. At rest, the hornets are busy collecting food, building the nest, cleaning house, and reproducing. If the nest is shaken, the hornets will become aggressive and defend themselves. When your nervous system is inflamed and hyperactive, your thought patterns become intense, since your conscious brain interprets your internal physiology.

The usual approach is to use cognitive rational techniques to counter bad thoughts with good thoughts, which is an impossible task. Then we put up our “shield” (self-esteem, self-affirmations) to protect us. It also overwhelming and wears us down. Exerting increased control (suppression) is also futile. Then the more attention you pay to the thoughts your brain is fired up even more. It is a bi-directional process.

The answer lies in “quit shaking the nest.” The hornets will calm down and return to their usual activities. As your nervous system calms down, your unpleasant thought patterns will lessen, which in turn helps calm your brain. Although cognitive approaches lower the input into the nervous system, calming it down is a separate skill. There are endless other ways besides unpleasant thoughts that fire it up.

There are four aspects of creating a safe relationhip with your thoughts.

• Thought separation
• Calming the nervous system (processing anger)
• Creativity – stimulating new neurological circuits away from the unpleasant ones.
• Dissolution of the ego – once you learn to feel safe, there is less need for it.

Calming your nervous system allows you to feel safe. It allows you to break free of ruminating thought patterns frees you up to create and live life on your terms.

References

1. Hulbert JC, et al. Inducing amnesia through systemic suppression. Nature Communications (2016); 7:11003 | DOI: 10.1038/ncomms11003
2. Garland EL, et al. Thought suppression as a mediator of the association between depressed mood and prescription opioid craving among chronic pain patients. J Behav Med (2016); 39:128–138. 10.1007/s10865-015-9675-9
3. Cole SW, et al. Social Regulation of gene expression in human leukocytes. Genome Biology (2007); 8:R189. doi: 10.1186/gb-2007-8-9-r189
4. Copeland W, et al.” Childhood bullying involvement predicts low-grade systemic inflammation into adulthood.” PNAS (2014); 111: 7570-7575.

The post Our Need to Feel Safe first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Our Need to Feel Safe appeared first on Back in Control.

• Healing chronic illness happens by moving towards health not by “fixing” yourself.
• An analogy can be made to becoming a professional baseball player. The goal is to be “safe” as often as possible.
• Your skills to process adversity and nurture joy improve with focused repetition. Attempting to get rid of your mental and physical pain without specific tools is futile, frustrating, and counterproductive. Focusing on your problems only reinforces them.
• Healing is a dynamic daily process,  and you frequently make outs. That is life. Keep moving forward towards the life you desire.

“When is my anxiety and pain going to go away?” This is the wrong question. If you are monitoring your progress in terms of how you feel, your pain (mental and physical) is at the center of your life, and you are reinforcing survival circuits and reactions. The better question is, “how can I learn skills to feel safe?” It is while you are in safety that your body refuels, regenerates, and heals. Your focus must be on learning and practicing becoming a “professional at living life.” As you heal, many, if not most of your symptoms will improve or resolve. When they recur, which they always do, you possess skills to calm yourself and move on.

Major league baseball

Consider your life journey in the context of becoming a major league baseball player. You are the hitter and life is the pitcher. The pitcher is not your friend, and neither is life. Every living creature has to compete for resources to stay alive, much less thrive. Your goal is to get on base safely as often as you can.

Life throws us every type of pitch at any speed—fastball, curve, slider, sinker, and changeup. It may be delivered overhand, sidearm, or even underhand (submarine pitch). Don’t forget the knuckleball that is thrown without the ball having any spin. Although it is a slower pitch, it “floats” so much that it is unpredictable where it is going to end up. Major league catchers even have to wear an oversize catcher’s glove in order to be able to consistently catch it. Some pitchers “cheat” with spitballs, which increase the movement of the ball and are illegal. That a human ever hits a major league pitch borders on miraculous.

There are several ways to reach base safely. You might get on with a walk, an error, balk, dropped third strike by the catcher, base hit, or being hit by a pitch. It requires years of repetition to develop a disciplined eye for “your pitch”, have the patience to walk (especially with two strikes), have a reproducible consistent swing, and be in excellent physical and mental shape. Years of coaching and practice are required to make it to the majors.

The skill level ranges from knowing nothing about baseball, to playing T-ball (hitting a plastic ball off of a stand), little league, high school, college, minor leagues (A, AA, AAA levels) and finally the majors. A nickname for the highest level is the “circus”— not a subtle analogy to life.

Baseball is considered one of the more perverse and stressful sports. The “team” effort is a collection of individual efforts and collaboration.  This is in contrast to a sport, such as basketball or soccer where perfecting teamwork with passing, defense, and strategy is equally as critical. Mistakes in these other team sports and are less obvious and usually have less impact on the overall outcome. So, in baseball, heroic feats are highlighted but so are mistakes. One error or strikeout can cost the game or even a whole season. Life is even a higher stakes contest, and the smallest poor choice can alter your life’s trajectory.

Keep in mind that the best players make an out a high percentage of the time. Life keeps coming at us and sometimes we do well and often we don’t. That is not failure; it is just life. Most of us are not taught the basic skills of effectively navigating adversity, regulating our body’s chemistry, and nurturing joy. We are tossed into life doing the best we can to survive. Our examples of how to live are taught to us by our parents, teachers, peers, and society, who also did not learn effective self-regulating skills. It is no wonder that there is so much suffering and societal chaos.

Creating Safety

With regards to chronic mental and physical pain, we are generally focused on resolving symptoms. But that causes your brain to develop where you don’t want it to, instead of creating what you want (neuroplasticity). You must separate from what you don’t want and learn to “get on base,” by creating safety physiology. In this state, your body regenerates and heals. The more time you can spend in safety, the better.

The key to healing is developing your own set of strategies to live life skillfully. The approaches fall in two different arenas. One is efficiently processing adversity and the other is nurturing joy. Each person is unique and attains his or her own best skill set in each realm. If you are waiting for a medical provider, course, or book to fix you, how is that going to work?

Practice, practice, practice

Your skills will be limited in the beginning. You must attain a minimum level of expertise to play the game, including just learning the rules and strategies. Initially, you will make an out most of the time, but it is critical to always treat yourself with kindness, regardless of your result at the plate.

As you work your way through the system, starting with little league, high school, and then Single A ball to the Majors, you’ll begin to feel better. The good news with chronic illness is that it doesn’t require years as much as it requires repetition of the correct approaches for you. Each person progresses at his or her own speed.

Many people experience enough relief that they stop learning and practicing, even though he or she may just be entering the minor leagues with regards to their level of expertise. But once you are out of the “Abyss” and moving forward, you are just beginning your journey. Why would you stop? If you were aiming for the majors, why would you just drop out? You might feel that you don’t want to put in that much effort, or it is too much work. What is work is fighting anger, anxiety, and pain for the rest of your life. Even at the top level, professional athletes and performers utilize coaches. Why would you not want to attain the highest expertise for navigating your whole life?

“I don’t want any pain.”

One common trap in dealing with pain, is that people want it gone forever. If they heal and then relapse, they’ll become upset and self-critical. Even worse, they might blame someone for their troubles. Staying alive is a challenge and there will always be some level of pain every day. It may be minimal. Sometimes your stresses may be overwhelming, or your nervous system may be hyper-reactive, and you’ll go into threat physiology. But you’ll understand how to lower it quickly. Eventually, you’ll learn better ways to avoid it.

Recap

Focus your efforts on becoming a “professional at living life.” Your focus is on learning better skills instead of trying to get rid of your pain. As you come out of The Abyss, you’ll have more energy to learn even faster, and life becomes easier. Of course, you want less suffering, but you must focus on solutions instead of the problems. It is a never-ending but progressively more enjoyable journey.

Questions and considerations

1. Switching your focus from fixing to creating yourself is a huge paradigm shift. Like all creatures we react more to threats. Humans are a reactive species, and we often don’t respond until situations become crises.
2. Few of us understand the physiological basis of chronic illnesses. They arise from the body malfunctioning and healing happens as it returns to normal function. What about learning to maximally optimize it?
3. Baseball is just one example of a performance. Consider one that you relate to more-music, art, electronics, computers, endurance sports, or dance. You can consider them in terms of a hobby or developing expertise. Life is not a hobby.
4. Turn your energy to becoming the highest-level performer of life. It is much easier than just trying to survive it. Attempting to hit a 95-mph fastball without adequate skills is impossible. Is life so different?
5. Take note of where most of your daily attention is focused. Consider what you were excited about when you were younger. Are you focused more on what you wish for or on avoiding what you don’t want? The answer is where your brain and nervous system will develop.

The post Navigating Life is Similar to Playing Major League Baseball first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Navigating Life is Similar to Playing Major League Baseball appeared first on Back in Control.

“The gift of the unconscious “– life

The interoceptive nervous system is intertwined with every cell and organ in your body. The interpretation of these internal signals gives rise to consciousness. The warning signals evolved to be intensely unpleasant so as to compel the organism optimize function and act in order to survive. Conversely, sensations of safety became equally as powerful to drive cooperation and reproduction. The reward and warning system are both always active and in a delicate balance. This finely tuned interaction allows immediate action in either direction. However, since survival is clearly the primary need, unpleasant sensations will be more frequent. Most of the time, your actions will minimize them quickly, and avoiding physical pain and unpleasant sensations is how we are programmed to stay alive. This incredibly powerful complex unconscious system is the “gift of life.”

“The curse of cognitive consciousness” – RUTs

Language allows us to possess “cognitive consciousness”, and the capacity to describe these sensations. Meaning is given to the feelings generated by these neurochemical reactions reflecting danger and safety. Since we are always on some degree of alert for trouble, there is an endless stream of RUTs (repetitive unpleasant thoughts). Since physiology (how the body functions) affects every cell in your body, it is all encompassing, feels like who you are, and becomes a core part of your identity. So, the “gift of life” translates into the “curse of cognitive consciousness.”

Our brains become inflamed and hyperreactive with excitatory neurotransmitters and inflammatory cells when in flight or fight physiology. Humans describe these sensations generated from an activated threat response, “anxiety and anger.” They are physiologic states and not psychological.^1,2 Blood flow in the brain shifts from the neocortex (thinking centers) to the limbic system (fear and survival regions) so you cannot think as clearly when you are under real or perceived stress. An inflamed brain fires up even more RUTs, which are also perceived as dangerous and there is no end to this cycle.

                                                                     Goodtime/Adobe Stock

While we have an automatic withdrawal response (nociceptive system) for acute physical pain, there is no such response for mental pain. Suppressing RUTs only fires up threat physiology more and further creates more RUTS. There is no end to this loop, and we have no protection from mental pain.³

We attempt to create “good thoughts” from our conscious brain to counter the “bad” thoughts. This is an impossible task, as the unconscious brain continues to remain “fired up” and the bad thoughts continue to fly. Cognition requires conscious mental effort, consumes energy, is a gross mismatch of power, and is not sustainable. The unconscious brain processes between 20-40 million bits of information per second and our conscious brain deals with only about 40 per second. This interaction is why RUTs are so common, miserable for many, and the consequences are often severe.

Consequences of RUTs

One consequence is that well-intentioned people are more affected in that they may view themselves negatively because these thoughts are such a dark contrast to who they perceive they are or what they stand for. They don’t realize that these thoughts are interpretations of feelings generated from the unconscious brain. Efforts to combat RUTs often border on heroic, but the fallout is that people who potentially could significantly contribute to the common good are often crippled by anxiety (threat physiology) or just get worn down.

Less well-intentioned people may simply act out these thoughts and impulses without a lot of self-judgment. Hence, history is replete with tyranny and control. There is actually a physiological reward for power and control. Bullies have been documented to have lower inflammatory markers than average, whereas those who have been subjected to being bullied have higher inflammatory markers.⁴

Not only do humans expend a lot of energy fighting bad thoughts with good ones, but we also create “stories” to feel better about ourselves. We call it ego, self-esteem, or identity. As the powerful unconscious brain continues to keep us alive regardless of what we think or feel, there is no end to our efforts to create an identity that is bulletproof.

Another, more primitive solution, is exerting power and control based on these stories. The solution to anxiety is control, but without a way of decreasing RUTs, there is also no limit to what we do to control ourselves and others. These “stories” are often the basis evil actions. Once we label someone or a group of people as “less than” than we can justify any action in order to “bring them in line” or exterminate them. Labels are cognitive distortions that destroy awareness of details and the needs of others.^5,6

“The gift of cognitive consciousness” – choice

Anytime you are anxious or frustrated, you are reacting to something that was perceived as dangerous from the past. You are no longer in the present and cannot clearly see the details of the situation in front of you. You can will your way back to neutral or better for periods of time. But you have now lost choice, which is the gift of consciousness. It is truly a gift in that you can use the body’s property of neuroplasticity to create any brain (and reality) that you wish. But you cannot access it while you feel under threat. It is simply not possible.

The gift of our unconscious is life, and it keeps us alive at any cost. RUTs reflect this effort and are the curse of cognitive consciousness. Separating our identity from them and regulating our physiology from threat to safety allows us to access the gift of consciousness, which is choice. There are no shortcuts. You must  separate your identity from your survival reactions with awareness create choices. You are “letting go” (“Cing” first) in order to proactively move forward into creating the brain (neuroplasticity) and life you desire . Our lives can and will transform from reaCtive to Creative.

Why has this not been figured out long ago? Maybe it is because anxiety and anger have historically been placed into psychological/ mental categories instead of understanding they are such powerful activated physiological states. Avoiding the sensation of anxiety (vulnerability) drives most of human behavior. Much of it is dysfunctional and destructive. Medicine has not collectively acknowledged threat physiology as the driving force behind chronic mental/ physical symptoms, illness, and disease. It is no wonder that the burden of chronic disease continues spiral out of control.

The human race is a reactive species that knows how to physically survive. We have choice but can’t seem to access it with enough regularity to proactively create a thriving life and planet. Awareness allows choice and is where mental and physical healing begins.

References

1. Teed AR, et al. Association of generalized anxiety disorder with autonomic hypersensitivity and blunted ventromedial prefrontal cortex activity during peripheral adrenergic stimulation. JAMA Psychiatry (2022); doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2021.4225
2. Takahashi A, et al. Aggression, social stress, and the immune system in humans and animal models. Front. Behav. Neurosci. (2018); 12:56. Doi: 10.3389/fnbeh.2018.00056
3. Wegner, DM. Ironic processes of mental control (1994); 101:34-52.
4. Copeland W, et al.” Childhood bullying involvement predicts low-grade systemic inflammation into adulthood.” PNAS (2014); 111: 7570-7575.
5. Burns, David. Ten Days to Self-Esteem. Harper Collins, New York, 1993.
6. De Mello, Anthony. The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony De Mello. Doubleday, New York, NY,1992.

The post Accept the Gift of Consciousness – Choice first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Accept the Gift of Consciousness – Choice appeared first on Back in Control.

The worst part of my ordeal was the mental pain and being bombarded with unpleasant and intrusive thoughts. It was the most disturbing aspect of it all and the more I did battle with them, the more intense they became. I had already slipped into an “internal OCD” (obsessive compulsive disorder) five years earlier. It  manifested with repetitive disturbing thoughts that I countered with positive thoughts. Internal OCD does not have external characteristics such as hand washing and counting.

I had begun the expressive writing about six months earlier with a lot of success. My anxiety and other physical symptoms had diminished but I was still struggling on many fronts.

“I am a victim”

On Mother’s Day of 2002, I suddenly realized what being a victim entailed and saw that I was deeply enmeshed inthat role. Up to that point, I had no idea that I was even angry. I was just “right” and “frustrated.” But since I had so many legitimate reasons for feeling this way, I never considered myself as angry. In fact, my concept was that I had dealt with anger and had moved on. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

I felt a deep shift and over the next six weeks, more of my physical symptoms began to resolve, with the most unexpected one being that the ringing in my ears (tinnitus) decreased dramatically. After 25 years of dealing with it, I had assumed that it was a permanent symptom. However, many of the disturbing thoughts persisted and were interfering with my capacity to enjoy my life. I felt stuck.

The circus mirrors

One day, I suddenly had an image of myself standing in front of the kind of reflecting mirrors that you see in the circus. I was staring at repeating versions of  myself, going into infinity. I could see the battle playing out in my brain – a disruptive thought followed by a  counterthought – without an end. This had been playing out in me for years. I realized that there was nothing I could do and I “gave up.” I had reached a point where I had to let go. I truly became deeply discouraged yet at the same time, this realization was accompanied by a deep physical feeling of release. I was perplexed.

I continued to use all the tools of writing, mindfulness, forgiveness, etc. But with my new outlook, I began to move forward with my life and within six months most of my physical and mental symptoms (Including the obsessive thoughts) had dramatically abated. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it turned out that letting go and moving on was the definitive answer. This was well before I understood the concepts of neuroplasticity. Your brain develops whereveryou place your attention and I had been reinforcing the problem by trying to fix it.

Take a break

My patients and I frequently discuss the idea of taking a break from The DOC Journey. They have been diligent in reading, writing, not discussing their pain or medical care, meditating, processing anger, and even working hard at play. But they continued to be frustrated because, even though their pain had diminished, their anxiety levels remained too high, upsetting thoughts continued to bombard them, and they still didn’t have the quality of life that would allow them to thrive.

Perfectionism came into play in that he or she wanted to be the best student and really do it right. But the harder they worked at it, their neurologic energy was still directed at themselves. Inadvertently, by stimulating neuroplastic changes towards the problem, they were reinforcing these unpleasant neurological circuits.

Remember that the victim role (including perfectionism) is so powerful, you will never want to give it up – even afteryou have felt how free you can be. It is too strong of a survival need. The  decision to let go of the victim role is a day-by-day decision, sometimes a minute-by-minute one. Being triggered is inherent to being alive, and you have to decide if and when you want to let go, and when you are ready, just do it. I have not found an alternative and logic doesn’t work. I call it, “flipping the switch.”

Bill

Occasionally, at the end of an office visit, I asked my patient to sit in the exam room and not leave until they committed to “letting go” of the victim role. They may have sat for 10-20 minutes before they left. Walking out the door was symbolic of them stepping into their new life. It was surprising how effective that simple action could be.

Bill was a middle-aged, small-business owner who had been in chronic pain for over twenty years. He had done quite well with the DOC principles, along with the help of one my colleagues. One day Bill was triggered by one of his business partners and fell deeply back into the Abyss of pain and despair, to a depth he had not experienced before. He was becoming suicidal. Unfortunately for me—but fortunately for others— through my own experience, I gained extensive insights into suicide and realized that anger is what pounds your soul into the ground. Bill was in an extreme victim mode. I called him out on it during an extremely intense conversation. Although it was nerve wracking for both of us,  it clicked. He sat in the exam room for about half an hour.  When I saw him back a few months later, he was achanged man and re-entering the workforce.

A friend sent me this poem:

“She Just Let Go”

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the “right” reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry,

She just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go….

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her day timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree,

She just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle.

It wasn’tgood, and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

–Rev. Safire Rose

This poem “She Just Let Go” by Reverend Safire Rose beautifully conveys the essence of The DOC Journey. Letting go is the simplest and simultaneously the most difficult aspect of the healing process. Our anger is powerful and often legitimate. We are accustomed to fixing others and ourselves, but our attention is still on our flaws and those of others. Too much attention to shortcomings inadvertently strengthens our unpleasant neurological circuits.

The DOC Journey provides guidance and tools to get to a place where you are able to let go. The freedom you will experience is remarkable. For me, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life. Watching people enter this realm is inspiring and is a major factor in motivating me to keep me moving forward with this project.

Reconnecting with Your True Self

On Saturday, November 6th, Dr. Les Aria, a friend of mine, and I are holding a workshop that is being hosted through The Open Center in New York. We will be discussing both the process of letting go using specific strategies to connect to the best part of who you are. The intention is for you to leave with a clear concept of the power of the unconscious survival mind, how to develop a “working relationship” with it, and move forward into the life you desire. Click this link to take a look at the course and register.

The post “She Just Let Go” first appeared on Back in Control.

The post “She Just Let Go” appeared first on Back in Control.

Here is the essence of the problem with RUTs and the human condition. The sequence begins with your unconscious brain that is constantly on alert for danger and is much more powerful than our late-evolving language-based consciousness. Humans use language to give meaning to everything, especially to sensations generated from inside of your body (interoception). Danger, real or perceived creates threat physiology that generates various levels and kinds of discomfort, and we have created many words that describe how badly we feel. These unpleasant thoughts evolve into concepts. They originate from the brain and also are sensory input back into it that we react to with threat physiology. We are on a spinning wheel without brakes and our brains are on fire.

New Africa/AdobeStock

The conscious versus unconscious brain mismatch

So, we generate positive thoughts to counteract unpleasant ones. We work hard to develop enough self-esteem to feel better about ourselves. But the powerful unconscious brain can generate an infinite number of troubling thoughts with minimal extra energy expended whereas the conscious brain can only create a limited number of “good” thoughts that requires effort and expenditure of energy. It is a gross mismatch, your survival brain overwhelms your efforts to feel better about yourself, you experience cognitive fatigue, and you are worn down.

The root cause driving the creation of RUTs is your fired up inflamed brain. Once the thoughts are released, how can you put them back into the box? You cannot. It is like trying to kill a swarm of mosquitos with a fly swatter. What’s effective is calming down threat physiology (anxiety and anger), the RUTs are diminished, which lessens the threat load even more. This is a bidirectional process. The medical/ psychology world has primarily focused on the RUTs without addressing the physiological root cause. Over the last decade, that is changing, and many practitioners are using methods to calm people down as the primary focus. Why not drain the swamp?

Consider a hornet’s nest where the inhabitants are minding their own business. They are working together constructing a home, gathering food, watching out for danger, and reproducing. Then someone or animal comes along and starts poking at the hive. Appropriately, they sense danger and use the weapons at their disposal to fight off the threat. Swarms of hornets attack the predator with the intention to inflict pain and they do. What is the best answer? Is it trying to battle the hornets once they are in the battle mode, or would it be easier to quit prodding the nest? It is impossible to do battle with your innumerable RUTs. Why not calm down your inflamed brain? Your RUTs will quiet down. Then you have the ”space” to move into brain circuits where you can nurture joy, move away from pain circuits, and where the definitive healing happens.

schankz/AdobeStock

Dissolution of your ego

The final step of allowing your ego (self-esteem) to dissolve can’t happen until you are able to tolerate the painful thoughts arising from your unconscious brain. Emotional pain is processed in similar regions of the brain as physical pain. The reason we spend so much time and energy on our self-esteem is because RUTs make us feel so badly about ourselves and we don’t like to hurt. Once you have no more need to “defend” your identity built largely from cognitive distortions, you can live your life in freedom.

There is another layer to the devastating effects of RUTs. “Good” self-esteem is a cognitive distortion of labeling. It doesn’t matter whether your label is “better than” or “less than”, it is still a distortion and where does it end? Then think of how many aspects of your identity are determined by “stories” consisting of cognitive distortions. A major one is “should or should not” thinking, which is at the core of how we are programmed from birth. It manifests in perfectionism and self-critical voices. These voices become stronger with time and become embedded in our brains as concretely as physical objects. At some tipping point, we spend the rest of our lives processing our worlds though our life lens and it is continually reinforced. Many people develop mental rigidity as part of this process, and it is a trait that is at the center of almost any mental health problem. Defending and becoming attached to your own sense of self is the antithesis of awareness which is essential for successful human interactions.

RUTs are one of the expressions of threat physiology. Addressing this root cause allows definitive solutions. Humans must learn to navigate cognitive consciousness in ways other than a survival mindset. Understanding the nature of the problem opens up possibilities to thrive. It is the next step in our evolution of our species with dire consequences if we don’t.

The post Understanding the “Curse of Consciousness” first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Understanding the “Curse of Consciousness” appeared first on Back in Control.

• Many people are focused on controlling anger and anxiety with behavioural approaches.
• These powerful reactions are not controllable and suppressing them increases threat physiology.
• We all need to be heard, supported, and taught methods to regulate and lower these responses.
• Avoiding or suppressing stress causes damage to our bodies and causes chronic illnesses.

How many of us have heard the phrase, “children should be seen and not heard?” Or what about, “spare the rod and spoil the child.” How often were your parents not really there for you when you were upset?

DimaBerlin/ AdobeStock

Kari is a woman who I met in 2018 when she asked me to speak at her company’s annual disability conference. I presented the nature of chronic pain and approaches to solve it. I did not realize that she jumped right in with both feet and learned the concepts. She contacted me about a year later, and shared how excited she was about how much her life had improved. We have remained in close touch and here is her recent email. I had told her about a remarkable turnaround of a 24-year-old gentleman who had broken out of his bipolar disorder, anxiety, major depression, and pain migrating around his entire body.

Her letter

Hi David, is this the young man with Bipolar you mentioned during our call?  What an incredible transformation! 

You know what hit me the other night, few children are taught how to process anxiety so they do the best they can on their own and usually create inaccurate perceptions of themselves and learn ineffective and often damaging behaviors to deal with it (the 7-year-old creates the 50-year-old).  Parents should be doing this, but many parents are trapped in their own heads with repetitive negative thoughts and don’t know how to teach their children these skills as they haven’t learned them either.  And the cycle of dysfunction continues….

A little personal story here….My aunt gave me my grandmother’s book of prayers.  My grandma was an extremely anxious woman and pretty OCD.  I was thumbing through her book and noticed my grandma had written in the margins, underlined certain passages, etc.  In the section on anxiety, she had underlined several times that “anxiety is a sin.”  My poor Grandmother thought she was a sinner her entire life because she was anxious!  How awful!

My mother was also very anxious – no surprise there.  In 6^th grade, I had a boyfriend, nothing very serious at that age of course, but I went to school one day and here my best friend was now with my boyfriend.  I came home and was crying in my bedroom, mostly because my best friend had stabbed me in the back over a boy.  My mom came in and asked me what was wrong and when I told her, her response was, “get a real problem”. 

My mom was very stressed at the time with my two younger siblings and my dad always being at the bar – he was no help.  From that moment on, I never told her anything about my life that wasn’t positive and became very depressed all through junior high and high school. Not having a parent to support me emotionally really messed me up and caused me to create all these negative perceptions about myself that took me 40 years to get over.

I am grateful that I have broken the cycle of dysfunction with my son – we talk openly about these things, and he is a very high functioning and happy person. 

It’s all just so insane and sad.  Anyways, thanks for letting me share.  It was the sequence of concepts you presented that broke the cycle for me. Kari

Anger and love

Anger is a trait that blocks openness and engagement. One aspect of flight or fight physiology is that your necortex (thinking areas) are down regulated from stress hormones, the limbic system (fear) regions are activated, and you don’t even have good access to your rational thinking. Frustrated people are not rational, and there are no exceptions. Even more disturbing is that you can become crosswired and pain can be connected to “love”.

Our friend Sheila was standing in the checkout line at a grocery store when she heard a young mother screaming at her young five year-old daughter to put something back on the shelf. She suddenly hauled off and slapped her with a full swing. Almost at the same time the young girl began to cry, she held out her arms and ran to her mother to comfort her. Who else was there to console her? Talk about becoming cross-wired – the girl’s source of pain was also her bastion of love and protection.

My childhood experience with “love”

My mother would fly into rages that would last for two or three days. We never knew what would set them off, although we imagined many possibilities. We thought it was associated with our behavior, but no matter how hard we tried to avoid upsetting her, it just happened. After every tirade she would profusely apologize, and tell us how much she loved us. It was quite confusing. What even seems more bizarre in retrospect was that I was convinced that our parents loved us. I recall telling friends of mine in middle school that although my parents had some faults, at least I knew they loved us? Really??

The answer really is yes. My mother spent hours driving us around, volunteering at school, and talked about us in glowing terms to anyone that would listen. What I did not know as a young child is how disconnected anger (she also had chronic pain) can make you. She essentially entered a different reality when she became upset. From our perspective this was all a part of parental support and love.

It was so mixed up in my head that I did not even realize that anger was part of my life until I was almost 50 years old. It was just normal for me to become “frustrated” and since I was “right”, I did not have a clue that this was what anger looked like. I don’t think those close to me felt the same way. But at the same time, I was experiencing over 17 different physical and mental symptoms. I was disconnected.

What is your concept of love?

When you are an infant or child your mind is a blank slate being downloaded from your environment. If your symbols of love and protection are combined with mental or physical neglect or abuse, your concept of love will be much different than someone who was raised in a warm, caring, nurturing, and loving environment. In retrospect it is disturbing to me that I was so verbal about how much my mother loved me in the midst of a violent environment.

Sviatoslav Kovtun/AdobeStock

We all need to be seen AND heard

The common theme of these three situations is that a child was anxious and upset. The interventions took the form of suppressing and attempting to extinguish these behaviors, which were caused by a powerful unpleasant survival reaction. Many of us are taught from an early age that, “it is better to look good than feel good.” The root problem causing the reaction is often not addressed. You don’t feel heard, and you quickly learn that suppressing your feelings is better than having to deal with them. Except, what you don’t realize is that suppressing thoughts and emotions is like turning the heat up on a pressure cooker. The consequences are usually severe. The hippocampus of your brain (memory center) both shrinks and malfunctions.

The solution lies in the saying, “you have to feel to heal.” And then using strategies to regulate your flight or fight state to safety physiology. By dampening the driving force, not only will behaviors improve, but you can also live life in awareness and freedom.

References

1. Hulbert JC, et al. Inducing amnesia through systemic suppression. Nature Communications (2015); published 3.15.2016. 7:11003 | DOI: 10.1038/ncomms11003

The post Threat Physiology Can’t be Controlled with Behavioral Approaches first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Threat Physiology Can’t be Controlled with Behavioral Approaches appeared first on Back in Control.

• AI and the human brain both are blank slates whose functionality depends on what is loaded into them.
• Your capacity to navigate life depends on the quality of data and the “algorithm” loaded into your brain.
• Poor data or inept processing skills creates ongoing and progressive dysfunctional thoughts and behaviours.
• Your “trauma story” is not a “story”. It is a dynamic state, and you have a choice in directing it.

There is a striking similarity to computer-based learning called artificial intelligence (AI) and the human brain. AI has the capacity to process sensory input, analyze it, and arrive at conclusions as well as make decisions. There is also a marked difference in that AI cannot react to the internal sensations from the body’s physiology (body’s chemistry and function) because there are no neurochemical support systems for AI. Every living creature reacts to its environment through collecting sensory input, analyzing it by the millisecond, and the signals are sent out to regulate the physiology to that of “threat” or “safety.” These internal sensations are called “interoception,” and interpreting these signals is the basis for the evolution of human consciousness.¹

Co-regulate??

Thoughts are a major form of sensory input and emotions are what you feel; they reflect your physiological state (how the body functions). Much of human physiology is regulated through the vagus nerve, which is close proximity with your facial muscles. Through a complex set of interactions, we are able to “co-regulate” with others with the first step being that of determining if the other person is “safe” or not.

AI can only react to electronic signals and can process them without any sense of threat or safety. Even if facial recognition could determine safe or dangerous, there would just be an electronic response that mimicked this state, but there is no chemistry to feel.

AI vs. your brain

The cognitive capacity of AI to accurately analyze vast amounts of data, and arrive at new insights, far outstrips the human brain. It can create art that elicits emotions (physiology) in humans, but another AI machine will be unable to “feel” anything. It also cannot co-regulate with another machine or human, although it may appear that way on the surface. For example, when patients were evaluated by an AI machine compared to physician, the AI machine was much more effective in allowing a patient to feel heard and safe.²  Of course, if a clinician is stressed and feeling rushed, the co-regulation will be in the wrong direction.

But here is the real problem with the human condition that is being highlighted by AI. It is clear that the effectiveness of AI depends on two core factors. The first being the quality of the data being inputted and second that the “rules” of processing the data or the algorithm.

Jinho/AdobeStock

For example, if you simply download the rules of chess into AI without any strategies of how to use it, nothing of significance will happen. For AI to develop a mastery of chess, the data and the approaches need to be “taught” by a chess master. Then it can analyze the approaches, mistakes, good moves, and eventually become a better player than the master.

What if you inputted the wrong rules or if you trained it with someone like me who really only knows the rules and can only see one or two moves ahead. There is little or no chance of the computer gaining enough experience to compete at a high level, much less become a grand master. The computer can improve on good and also enhance incompetence. In the business world, inputting bad data into AI costs industry a lot of money. AI is developing tools and approached to understand when bad data is being gathered and the results are not going in the right direction. Could it salvage my chess game someday? Maybe.

The human database

Let’s get back to the human brain. I often refer to David Eagleman’s book, Livewired, where he clearly describes the incredible neuroplasticity of the human brain.³ It will adapt to almost any input to optimize your chance of survival. But what he describes so well is how dependent we are on our parents for physical survival compared to most mammals. Even more clear is that ALL of our consciousness is constantly programmed every second from birth by sensory input from inside and outside of us. We are who everyone thinks we should be and eventually those “voices” become our own. There are an infinite number of data points and most of it is around molding our “identity”, behaviors, accomplishments, and surviving. Additionally, most of us are not taught effective coping skills and even fewer are taught to nurture joy.

Consider the extreme form of poor input and coping skills of being raised in an abusive environment. All a child needs from his family is to feel safe, be safe, educated, taught relationship skills, and feel nurtured. That’s it. That is not what many of us get. So, the download in our brains from the beginning is “flawed data,” we are not taught to process it, we are too busy surviving to feel safe, and we don’t have the skills to nurture creativity. So, our processing system is full of bad data, analyzed by the wrong set of rules, and our life trajectory may spiral out of control.

OlegD/AdobeStock

The real trauma story

Trauma is stored in your body, but maybe in a different way than you might think. There is a trend to develop a “trauma” story. The real trauma story is reflection of the trend of your entire challenging life. Your “personal AI” will continue to add dimensions and depth to it. You may be rapidly evolving in the wrong direction depending on what “data” has been loaded into it. This is especially true if your “processing system” is also flawed. It is ongoing until you become aware of the nature of the data that is contained in your brain up to this second and you learn more effective methods to process it.

There is good news in that by changing the nature of your input and the way you process it, you can program in any reality you wish. What doesn’t work is trying to rearrange the old data and “fix” the flawed operating system. The first step is becoming aware of the nature (not the details) of the data that has been downloaded into your brain. Equally important is understanding the ways of processing your input to break into these swirling circuits and get your brain moving in the right direction.

To have a good life, you must live a good life. It requires skills and practice.

References

1. Damasio, Antonio. Feeling and Knowing: Making Minds Conscious. Vintage Press, 2022.
2. Ayers JW. 2023. Comparing Physician and Artificial Intelligence Chatbot Responses to Patient Questions Posted to a Public Social Media Forum. JAMA Internal Medicine.https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/article-abstract/2804309
3. Eagleman, David. Livewired. Canongate Books, 2021.

The post AI and the Cumulative Effects of Trauma first appeared on Back in Control.

The post AI and the Cumulative Effects of Trauma appeared first on Back in Control.

• Mental rigidity is a transdiagnostic process that spans many mental health diagnoses
• Creating mental flexibility may be an important early intervention in successfully treating them.
• The need to suppress unpleasant thoughts is a driver of this process.
• Creating mental flexibility is challenging in that people must be trained to tolerate and process unpleasant thoughts.
• Mindfulness Based Interventions (MBIs) have been shown to decrease mental rigidity.

Another form of suppression?

Mental rigidity is a variation of suppressing thoughts in that you will allow yourself only certain sets and types of thoughts and emotions. You don’t allow yourself to feel so happy or sad. Your emotional bandwidth is limited and can be compared to a bowling with rubber bumpers in the gutters. This may work to a large degree, but since you are constantly monitoring your thoughts, it is difficult to see and hear messages from others. You are unaware, which is at the core of abuse. Seeing and meeting only your needs causes one to behave in a manner that may hurt and damage others. Also, mental inflexibility is a common trait shared by many mental health diagnoses.¹

It gets worse. Rigid thinking around belief systems creates deep circuits in your brain (“stories”) that detach you not only from others but also the needs of society. These obsessive thought patterns seem “normal” to a given person. And when your brain is ruminating on these circuits, you have largely “crowded out” unpleasant repetitive thoughts. So, it is helpful for you, but not so much for others. Inevitably, there will be conflicts with those who have differing patterns of rigidity that are not subject to rational conversation. The perverse aspect of this is that the ensuing angry conflicts are powerful, further mask anxiety, and are addicting. Why would you want to give up the power of anger to feel anxious. Maybe it is your energy source that drives you to be “successful?”

Rigidity can revolve anything. Religion, politics, business, race, social class, personal opinions, noble ideology, and sports. The opinions can be small or global. They manifest as rhetoric (labeling), which completely covers up the real issues or specifics of who a person it.

                                                elit76_d/ AdobeStock

Reactance

It gets even darker. We will do almost anything to avoid or escape from the relentless barrage of negative thoughts. The science shows that thoughts and concepts become embedded in our brain similar to us defining any physical objective.² In other words, these fixed ideas become our life lens or world view. At some tipping point it hardens, and a phenomenon happens called “reactance.” This is a basic known fact in the marketing world.³ Facts never change one’s opinion. If they agree with your views, they are reinforced. However, when are not in agreement, you’ll reject them as invalid, and it strengthens your perspective even more. The more concrete your world view, the more definitive your actions will be to defend it.

The darkest aspect of it all is that many people feel the strength of their convictions (stories) to the point that they have the right, even responsibility to impose it on others. Hence, the outcome is extremely bad actions that occur both at a personal and world level.

We all have some aspect of this trait in that we feel that our perspective is the correct one, and we’ll freely be critical of those who don’t meet our “standards.” We may just think it or take varying degrees of action. Regardless of what you do, you have now lost awareness of the details of another person or situation. How can you act or react in a productive/ proactive manner?

Abuse

What about being raised in a dysfunctional or even abusive family? Your life lens is created from a hostile and dangerous environment. Going forward, you’ll constantly be in high alert similar to a feral cat. This environment creates a terribly destructive life view that also becomes stronger over time – unless you actively reprogram it.

The essence of abuse is not being aware of other’s needs. Rigid thinking takes unawareness to the highest level. It is often couched in seductive rhetoric. People in power understand the power of simple repetition and can program in anything they wish, regardless of whether it is logical or true.

The disease blocks treatment

How can this be solved? One of the most perverse aspects of the problem is that essentially all mental disorders are manifestations of chronic inflammation and other aspects of threat physiology. It this state your brain is inflamed, your neocortex (thinking regions) become less active, and it is challenging to open up your mind to new learning. Additionally, the rigidity also compromises awareness and curiosity.

Recent research has demonstrated that Mindfulness-Based Interventions (MBIs) are effective in increasing the connectivity between regions of the brain that define self. The term is the “Pattern Theory of Self.” Alterations that affect the dynamic interaction, are a factor in creating mental rigidity. The effects are manifested in many psychopathologies.

LoloStock/ Adobe Stock

By increasing the functional connectivity in regions connected with a sense of self and decrease the activity in interpreting the self’s relationship to the world, mental flexibility is increased. Indeed, MBIs are documented to more effective than many “gold standards” of psychological treatments.²

Chronic mental and physical illness and diseases are complex, and one type of intervention alone would not be expected to be a solution. However, MBI’s promise to be an entry point in breaking through the barrier of anger and rigidity to pursue a truly healing process. Many, if not most, chronic diseases are curable or at least can be halted. Research is beginning to offer real solutions.

Recap

Repetitive unpleasant thoughts (RUTs) are a driver of mental rigidity. It is a form of trying to control thoughts that is a common thread across many mental health diagnoses. Decreasing mental rigidity is a target for improving mental health interventions. It has been documented to be effective both clinically and with brain imaging. Mindfulness based interventions (MBIs) are a category of interventions that are effective in improving mental flexibility; and are potentially an entry point for effective solutions.

References

1. Giommi F, et al. The (in)flexible self: Psychopathology, mindfulness, and neuroscience. International Journal of Clinical and Health Psychology (2023); 23:100381. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijchp.2023.100381
2. Feldman-Barrett, Lisa. How Emotions are Made, Mariner Books, 2017.
3. Berger Jonah. The Catalyst. Simon and Schuster, New York, NY. 2020.

The post Mental Rigidity – A Core Trait of Many Mental Health Diagnoses first appeared on Back in Control.

The post Mental Rigidity – A Core Trait of Many Mental Health Diagnoses appeared first on Back in Control.

• Pain from any body part is a protective danger signal that guides our behavior and physical responses to avoid danger and remain safe.
• This system is called the nociceptive system, which guides behaviors to not exceed the limits of a given structure.
• Feedback from internal organs is called interoception, and the nervous system maintains a delicate balance through hormones, inflammatory responses, neurotransmitters, and metabolism (fuel consumption).
• Unpleasant mental input is perceived in similar regions of the brain as physical pain, but there is no automatic withdrawal or avoidance response. Suppression increases the intensity. We have no protection from mental pain.

Although humans are programmed to avoid or resolve physical threats, we do not have inherent mechanisms to deal with mental threats.

Staying Alive

Every living creature, from single-celled organisms to mammals, has two biological mandates. The first is to survive, and the second is to pass their genes to the next generation.

In order to avoid danger, seek safety, and stay alive, data is gathered through sensors located on every cell in your body. All this information continually interpreted by your nervous system to assess whether the situation is safe or dangerous. Signals are then sent out from the nervous system to regulate and control your body’s next actions to optimize survival. So, a major point is that the nervous system is necessary to interpret the intensity and type of input from the pain sensors. Otherwise, pain would not exist.

There are many different pain signals such as hot/cold, loud/soft, sharp/ dull, pressure, light touch, and position. When these pain receptors send messages to the brain that a given structure in the body is at risk for danger, the brain sends out automatic signals to withdraw from the dangerous situation. Pain is protective and we cannot survive without it. It is a gift.

This unconscious protective system is called the nociceptive pain system. What you may not realise is that this system is focused on guiding our actions and behaviours in order to avoid pain and we can get on with our lives safely. So, we are not aware of its role most of the time. It is only when the limits of a given bodily structure are approximated or exceeded that your brain receivesan intensity of signals that it interprets as, “danger!” These signals have evolved to be so unpleasant so as to compel action. It is how living creatures evolved and survive. It is also the reason why when the finely tuned protective pain system becomes unbalanced and suffering from chronic pain is so tragic.

Protective responses

There are four levels of responses to input from your external environment and internal organs. The variables are intensity and duration.

1. None/protective: Your body is guided to remain safe.
2. Withdrawal: Any physically perceived threat is met with a quick response.
3. Symptoms/Illnesses: Prolonged threat – diminishes/resolves with a lower threat load.
4. Diseases: Sustained threat – your body breaks down, causing structural damage.

There are rare instances where people are born without pain fibers. Since they lack protective sensation, their tissues and joints break down, become deformed, and infected. They live only 10-15 years and usually die from infection. There are also diseases that destroy protective sensation such as leprosy and diabetes. Again, the limits of the tissues are regularly exceeded, and they break down. Often a joint will become a “bag of bones.” Survival depends on your brain accurately processing sensory input, detecting threats, and sending out signals to take protective actions.

Uniquely human

In addition to input from your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, skin, and internal organs, humans also receive input in the form of threatening thoughts. Unpleasant thoughts are processed in similar regions of the brain as physical pain¹, which creates a flight or fight response. Hence the phrase, “You hurt my feelings.”

The brain generates survival signals that are intended to be so unpleasant that the organism is compelled to respond in a way to resolve the threat. Once the problem is solved, your body returns to its baseline. Whenever a given response doesn’t solve real or perceived danger, the body’s physiology remains in an activated threat state. Sustained threat causes symptoms, illness, and disease.

Many, if not most, people have stresses that are not solvable, and avoiding stress becomes its own stress. As your body kicks in more of a stress response, you’ll feel angry. The longer and more intensely you feel trapped, the greater the effects on your body.

There are many ways of minimizing the impact of stress. However, a universal problem is the inability to escape from unpleasant thoughts. This may be a powerful force in driving chronic disease with sustained threat physiology keeping your body in overdrive.

Your brain on fire

A significant percentage of your brain is intertwined with the immune system, and signaling molecules (cytokines) fire up an inflammatory response. Your brain is not only hyperreactive but also inflamed. So, thoughts fire up the nervous system, and then your brain fires off disruptive thoughts.

SciePro/ AdobeStock

Your thoughts, concepts, and behavioral reactions eventually become permanently embedded (memorized) in your brain and are unresponsive to rational interventions.² They become your “demons” that strengthen over time. Essentially, all humans have some level of annoying, undesirable thoughts that aren’t problematic. Many experience them at a level that interferes with their enjoyment of life but doesn’t affect their capacity to function. Others are greatly affected without carrying a diagnosis of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Coping behaviors include suppressing thoughts, rigid thinking, binge eating, eating disorders, skin picking, nail biting, hair pulling, “worrying,” hyper-focusing on appearance, body image issues, and addictions.

Repetitive Unpleasant Thoughts (RUTs) are worsened when trying to fight or control them³. Attempts at mental control drive them much harder, as more attention reinforces them. Suppressing them is even worse. Then, feeling trapped creates intense angry, irrational reactions. The resultant dysfunctional behaviors create a lot of damage to you and others around you, in addition to illness, symptoms, and disease. We do not have an automatic withdrawal response to mental pain – we have no protection at all.

Recap

This inability to protect ourselves from unpleasant thoughts drives threat physiology, creates many dysfunctional behaviors, and causes symptoms, illness, and disease. There are many benefits to human consciousness, but this aspect of it is “the curse of cognitive consciousness.” We have learned to physically survive but have not consistently figured out how to thrive.

References

1. Eisenberger N. “The neural bases of social pain: Evidence for shared representations with physical pain.” Psychosom Med (2012); 74: 126-135.
2. Feldman Barrett, Lisa. How Emotions are Made. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, New York, NY, 2018.
3. Wegener DM. The Seed of Our Undoing. Psychological Science Agenda (1999)/ 10-11.

The post We have no protection from mental pain first appeared on Back in Control.

The post We have no protection from mental pain appeared first on Back in Control.

1. Repetitive Unpleasant Thoughts (RUTs) are solvable with a multi-pronged self-directed approach.
2. Consider the four aspects in the metaphor of a popcorn machine.
3. They are 1) the kernels 2) the cooking pot 3) the storage compartment 4) the power source.
4. All facets must be addressed daily, so the only person that can solve them is you.

You cannot control your thoughts and the “need for mental control” is what causes so much trouble. RUTs are solvable by approaching them from all of these perspectives.

• Thought diversion
• Calming the nervous system
• Redirecting your brain towards positive circuits
• Dissolution of your ego

Consider these aspects of calming your mind as a metaphor of a movie theater popcorn machine. The kernels of corn represent your disruptive thoughts. The cooking pot is your fired up nervous system. Obsessive thoughts are the popped corn, and the storage area is your working memory.

Thought diversion

Having fewer kernels of corn enter the cooker is an important step. You can divert your thoughts in several ways.

• Expressive writing
• Mindfulness/ active meditation
• Cognitive behavioral approaches – recognizing and separating from cognitive distortions.

Expressive writing in its various forms is simply a separation exercise. Your thoughts are on a piece of paper separated from you by vision and feel, both part of the unconscious brain. It is critical to immediately destroy it, so you can write with absolute freedom. It is the most miserable and disturbing thoughts that we suppress the most. As your body chemically reacts to them, they become real and part of your version of reality. The reality is that they are who you are not. The other reason to destroy them is to not analyze them. They are not “issues”, they are just thoughts. Rehashing them creates more of a tangled mess.

Mindfulness/ active meditation puts your attention on physical sensations that creates a shift away from your racing thoughts. It can be any sensation and can last for just a few seconds . Or you can train yourself to live much of your day in a mindful manner. Instead of doing battle with these thoughts, you have turned away from them.

Another strategy is cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). David Burns has defined ten categories of cognitive distortions that impact our decision-making and quality of life. Instead of believing these distortions, you can train your brain to recognize them for what they are, separate from them, and move on. The beauty of cognitive distortions is that there is nothing to do since they are not real in the first place.

Turning down the heat – anger

The second aspect of calming down the nervous system, is represented by “turning down the heat” of the cooker. We know that unpleasant thoughts fire up the nervous system, but an inflamed brain also throws off more extraneous thoughts. Notice how your mind races when you are upset or feel trapped for any reason. You are fighting for a way out. This is the basic survival response for a physical threat that increases your chances of survival. It doesn’t work for emotional survival. Fighting your thoughts not only increases the intensity of them, but you are also consuming a lot of fuel (glucose), as your brain consumes between 20-25% of your metabolic energy. Additionally, the activity of your brain shifts from your neocortex (thinking region) to the limbic region (survival areas) and you are unable to think clearly. The creativity you need to solve a problem is compromised.

Anxiety is the sensation generated by an activated threat response and anger is a hyperactivated one. They are physiological states and not primarily psychological. Your unpleasant thoughts are sensory input and emotions are what you feel (physiology). Anxiety and anger are the same entity, varying in intensity. Anxiety evolved to be extremely unpleasant, as it is the driving force to avoid danger and survive. The solution to anxiety is solving the threat. But when the problem is unsolvable, your body increases the survival response, and you’ll be angry. They are both activated physiological threat states.

Anxiety and anger are hardwired reactions that we have no control over. If you are triggered, you are triggered. What you do have a say about is your response to it. You can regulate your physiology through three different portals.

• Input – how you process your stress
• Lowering the reactivity of your nervous system – sleep, diet, exercise, somatic therapy
• Output – tools to stimulate the vagus nerve, which is highly anti-inflammatory – breath work, humming, listening to certain pitches of music, and vagal stimulation.

My term for dealing with anger is “anger processing.” There are many layers to it and none of these are difficult. It is a learned set of skills that are used daily and indefinitely. Unless you learn to lower this powerful (and addicting) survival reaction, you will continue to experience intense repetitive thoughts.

To have a good life, you must live a good life

The real and definitive healing occurs as you nurture and live the life that you want. Re-directing your attention to pleasant circuits is a separate set of skills. You cannot be really creative if you are continually fighting RUTs.

This is represented by how you deal with the popped kernels of corn. Over time, your attention may become consumed by unpleasant thoughts and the holding area of the popcorn machine is filled up. There is nowhere to go. By diverting the thoughts and turning down the heat, there will be less popcorn. But regardless of how quickly the machine fills up, it must be emptied to create some “space” for new input to allow for the sequence of stimulating your brain to change (neuroplasticity). The sequence is awareness, creating some space, and then redirecting your attention to what you want.

This “space” can be created in many ways including adequate sleep, exercise, anti-inflammatory diet, not discussing pain, etc. If you are trying to compensate for your anxiety with distracting activities, it is not possible. Your survival brain is too powerful. It is the reason that thought diversion and effectively processing anger are so critical. Then you have choices. Eventually, as you become more engaged in the life that you want and remain connected to it, obsessive thoughts are crowded out.

Pull the Plug – Ego dissolution

The driving force of ego is the pursuit of self-esteem, which It is an ongoing judgment pattern without an endpoint. It consists of an endless stream of thoughts and stories, most of which are cognitive distortions. You’ll wear down, RUTs will increase, your physiology attacks your own body, and you may become ill. BTW, self-esteem is a core cognitive distortion of “labeling.” As you develop your own story of who you are, it takes a lot of mental energy to maintain and defend it. Hence, a whirlwind of competing thoughts.

The final step of dissolving your ego, is the definitive solution. You cannot force or make it happen. You are allowing it to dissolve with awareness as the other three aspects are in play. The kernels of corn (unpleasant thoughts) dramatically decrease when there is no need to defend your ego and let go of pursuing self-esteem. You have “pulled the plug”  and remain connected to the present moment.

Recap

RUTs fire up the nervous system and an inflamed nervous system fires up RUTs. Both aspects must be addressed to decrease and essentially resolve RUTs. Definitive healing happens as your brain shifts to creative and functional circuits. Eventually, you’ll understand the futility of chasing self-esteem to offset your powerful flight or fight neurochemistry. Without having to defend your “identity”, disruptive thoughts will fade away.

Instead of being all that you can be, it is much easier to “just be.” There is no place, physically or mentally, that you have to go to. As your mind quiets down, you can just enjoy your day and appreciate the moment you are in.

Questions and considerations

1. Consider how much RUTs interfere with your enjoyment of life. Maybe they are minimal. Or have they been present for so long that they seem normal?
2. OCD is a diagnosis that has limited value. It does imply an intensity of bothersome thoughts that disrupts your ability to function in daily life. But at what tipping point would you call RUTs OCD?
3. Consider all aspects of healing. They are all important and happen simultaneously every day without an endpoint. As you increase your skills, they become habitual, requires little effort, you create “space” to reprogram your brain, and move forward away from these circuits.

The post The Popcorn Machine – Healing RUTS first appeared on Back in Control.

The post The Popcorn Machine – Healing RUTS appeared first on Back in Control.